You're Not Alone

Linda's Speech

Linda woke up in Danny's arms, the smell of the soap he used last night to shower filled her senses. She closed her eyes, wanting to sleep for a few more minutes. She felt a hand in her hair, the fingers slightly massaging her scalp. "Mmm. That feels good."
"I'm sorry."
"For what?" Her eyes remained closed as she felt very serene and happy.
"For everything. For scaring you, for getting you pregnant when-"
"Whoa." Linda pulled back slightly. "We wanted another baby. Don't apologize for giving me another little miracle."
"But you had to take care of yourself all by yourself."
"Don't I usually?" She quipped.
"Linda," Danny sighed and sat up, clearly upset.
"Danny-"
"Lemme talk."
"Okay," Linda sat up as well, suddenly worried.
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be mean to you. It's just— something triggers, and I end up hurting you."
"Da-"
"Lemme finish!" He almost yelled. He sighed, "see? I scared you. I can tell...... And I didn't mean to hit you. I didn't want to hit you. Gosh, I could never hit you. But I did. And I'm so sorry." He rubbed her bruised cheek bone with his thumb. "I was going to go away so you wouldn't get hurt anymore. So Jack and Sean wouldn't get hurt. You'll be better off without me-"
"I most certainly would not!" Linda interrupted. "I know you wanna talk, but I'm not gonna let ya. Do you still really think that I don't deserve you?"
Danny shrugged. "Kinda. You really-" he was cut off by her kiss. Despite how much he wanted to give in to his desires, he needed to finish. He turned his head and slipped out of bed. "It's not supposed to be this way."
"I'm not supposed to care for you?" She raised an eyebrow.
"That's right. I'm the man. I'm supposed to care for you. Not the other way around. I'm supposed to be strong, not weak like I am. I'm supposed to be able to care for you, to provide for you, to protect you. And I can't do that."
"Danny."
"I can't do any of the things I'm supposed to do-"
"Danny."
"Cause I'm broken. Cause I'm weak. Cause there's something clinically wrong with me!"
"Danny!" Linda yelled over him.
"What?!"
"Stop it. First off, you are not weak. You're not messed up. Second, you are providing for me. You are protecting me. You are caring for me. Third, how dare you throw stereotypical gender norms in my face? You know how I hate them. Yes, you're supposed to care for me, but I'm supposed to care for you, too."
"No where does it say that," Danny argued. He was sure he was right in his thinking.
"I don't believe you! I'm pretty sure when I said 'I, Linda Rose O'Shea, take thee, Daniel Fitzgerald Reagan, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge myself to you'— means that I'm gonna stick by you through thick and thin! Remember the vows we wrote? Manic Monday's, Wacky Wednesdays, fun Friday's. I'm supposed to take care of you, too. And it's tearing me apart because I don't know how. I see you, Danny. I see you! I see how you're slowly falling apart. And I don't know why the hell you Reagans are against pills and therapy. That makes no logical sense! But if you love me, Daniel Fitzgerald— if you love me like I know you do.... then you'll take some ass chewing and get therapy. I should've sent you to a therapist a long time ago. But I was scared. Scared for you," Linda clarified before Danny could say she backed his point. "I will never be scared of you..... don't you love me anymore?"
"What? Of course I love you. What the hell kinda crazy question is that?"
"You love me enough to walk through hell and back?"
"You know I do."
"If all that's true, all the metaphors and idioms and similes you've told me over the years.... if you meant every single word of them, you'll go to the doctor's today. With me. We'll get you hooked up with a therapist. Will you do that for me?"
"I'd do anything for you."
"But will you let someone else help? I can only do so much, sweetheart."
Danny inwardly growled. "Okay," he said quietly, admitting his defeat. "I'll get help."
"Guess what?"
"What?"
"You're one step closer to getting this thing licked. The first step is always recognizing you have a problem, then going to seek help." Linda sweetly kissed his lips, her arms around his neck. "Call in sick. I only have a half day today. You'll drop me off, then pick me up. Mary will be happy to babysit."
"Mom's sick-"
"And Jack knows that. He's promised all he'll do is color and quietly play with his toys..... is that part of why you're so wound up? Because your mom's sick again?"
Danny deftly nodded his head, not looking his wife in the eye.
"Oh, baby," she hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek. "She licked it once. She'll do it again."
Danny held onto his wife, finally feeling a little weight lift off his chest. "We don't— can we keep the therapy thing a secret?"
"We'll try, honey. But your Dad is the PC. He knows everything..... c'mon, let's get dressed. Everything will work out for the best. Remember that, 'Kay?"
Danny nodded and kissed his wife once more.
Linda walked to the closet, stopping half way. "Oh, and, Danny?"
"Yeah?"
"If you ever hit me like that again, then drive drunk, I will not hesitate to leave you. It'll kill me, but I'm not gonna tolerate that kinda behavior. From anybody. Are we clear?"
"Crystal."