Male/Ftm Reader x random

Brian Epstein x Male!reader

A/n: Not Proofread.

(Y/n's POV)
The cool breeze hit my face as I stood on the balcony of the hotel room we had rented. John and Paul were in the room to our right and Gorge and Ringo, in the one to our left. I gripped the railing of the balcony looking down below me. It made me a bit dizzy so I turned my attention to the lights of the New York skyline.
Brian was laying on our bed, passed out, again.
He had relapsed again and I'm starting to fall apart by trying to keep him together.
The tears started to fall, soon enough, I couldn't keep them back and I started balling right there on the balcony. I leaned out as far as I could and just screamed. I had to let it out, and I didn't care who heard me. Why did it matter anyway.
My grip on the railing got so tight that my knuckles turned white, though I didn't feel it at all. I couldn't stop crying, just the thought of loosing him, made me break down. I loved him so much, till the ends of the earth and it was hard to watch him do this to himself.
At the beginning, he tried to quit, he really did, it was just so hard for him, especially battling with his depression, plus the fact that we had to keep or relationship on the down low. It wore both of us down more than I could ever think.
I stood there crying and screaming for a while longer, until my voice went horse. Then I turned around and slid down to the ground.
Apparently, a mixture of the exhaustion from the day, crying, and the cool breeze lulled me to sleep.
I awoke the next morning, to Brian shaking me awake.
I opened my eyes and he looked scared and worried.
"(Y/n)! Have you been out here all nigh! You could get hypothermia or even Pneumonia!" He tried to get me to stand up but I resisted and stayed put. He looked at me a furrowed his brow.
"Come on, we have to get you inside." He insisted pointing back into the hotel room.
"No, leave me alone. Why would you care anyway. You don't stop when you do something self destructive, why should I?" I responded, the bite clear in my voice, as I looked up at him with accusation in my eyes.
He looked taken aback, then his eyes drifted off to the side.
"I'm sorry." He whispered to me.
"No you aren't. If you were sorry, you would stop. You see what it does to the boys, your parents, and I know you see, even a little bit, what it does to us! I love you Brian, I love you so much, I'd do anything for you. Why won't you do anything for me! Why won't you stop? Do you not...love me anymore?" I whispered the last two sentence, and I dropped my head to stare at my skin that was almost numb because of the cold.
"No, I do love you! I really, really do. I just. I don't know how to stop. I've tried everything..." he said trailing off as he went inside. He came back out quickly with a blanket and he put it around me. I pushed it off at first, then he put it back and I didn't do anything.
"You haven't tried rehab." I said quietly.
"No, I'm not going to rehab, only crazy people go there!" He scoffed, sitting down across from me.
"No Brian, only smart people go there. People who know that they need help. People who have something to quit for!" I said, raising my head to stare at him intently. My hands clenched under the damn blanket.
"But I do-" he tried to say desperately.
"Then go to rehab Brian! I can't keep watching you do this to yourself. It is tearing us apart, it is tearing me apart! Brian please! I can't keep helping you try to quit, you need profesional help! Please Brian, please." I pleaded, the fear, sadness, and desperation clear in my voice and eyes.
I pushed the blanket off of me and dragged myself over to him. I put one hand on his shoulder and one on his face.
"I don't want to leave you Brian, In fact I want to marry you one day, so don't force me to choose between you or my wellbeing, please Brian." I begged, my face now buried in his chest.
He pulled me in closer, and I could hear him start to cry.
"Okay...(y/n)...I will, I promise." He said, barely able to get it out through sobs.
We sat there and cried for who knows how long. Then I started to shiver and he noticed. He wiped his eyes and helped me up, leaving the blanket where I had pushed it off and we walked inside. He closed the door to the balcony and I hugged Brian tightly. I took a deep breath, trying to store his smell in my mind, because I knew he would be gone for a while. I didn't know why, maybe because of the way I acted, or something clicked in his brain, but I could tell he truly meant it this time. He wanted to get clean.
I gripped the back of his shirt, and couldn't pry myself off of him.
"Do you... do you want to take a shower?" He asked, still a bit shaken from what I said to him earlier.
I nodded into his shirt and slowly let go of the fistfuls I held. He walked into the hotel bathroom and turned on the shower to the right Temperature, then he started to leave. I grabbed his arm and I walked into the bathroom. Then I started to unbutton his shirt.
"Are you sure?" He asked, almost like a child.
I nodded.
When we finished getting undressed, we both stepped into the shower. He put his arms around my waist, and I leaned against him. We let the water run over the both of us but didn't say anything.

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A/n: Day # 29!!! We did it boys!!! I'm sorry that the month is over, I'll miss posting every day. Anyway, I'll try my best to post more often then I used to, and I will do a part two of this one so, stick around!! I hope you all enjoyed this months. I love you all, and thank you for the wonderful comments, requests, and support. :)!