Bruised, Battered, and In Tears [ A Benson Fan Fic]

Four

After Olivia left in the morning, Kathy and Elliot were alone. All of the kids were at school, and this was the first time since Olivia came home, where they could be alone together and talk about what they were thinking.

"Hey, so where did Liv go? She hasn't been talking to me." Elliot spoke. Kathy sighed as she looked over at her husband.

"She didn't tell me exactly... but it was either to the house or to where Christopher was buried," Kathy spoke. Elliot's eyes went wide as he started to feel his heart beat hard inside his chest.

"She may have been healthy enough to leave the hospital, Kathy... but in her mind, she is still so very sick. She can't be going to see Christopher's grave or the house where this all happened." Elliot spoke, before quickly moving from the kitchen. Kathy followed him quickly and watched as he pulled his jacket on.

"Elliot, she's a big girl. Maybe she needs to do this." Kathy spoke. She hated that all of a sudden, Elliot was going to run out on their only day that they can be alone together.

"Kathy, my best friend had been getting raped and beaten for years and I did nothing to help her. I'm not going to let her be alone in the time when she needs to be with people who love and care about her. So I need to go." Elliot spoke. He grabbed his keys before opening the door quickly. He stopped when Kathy grabbed his arm.

"You love her as you loved me, right?" Kathy asked quietly. Elliot froze up before slipping his wife's hand from his arm.

"I need to get to Olivia," Elliot spoke, before grabbing the edge of the door and pulling it shut behind him.

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Elliot tried to the cemetery first, but Olivia wasn't there. So then he drove to the house that Olivia had spent years in with her husband, to only have it turn into a place she didn't feel safe in. Or maybe she never felt safe there before.

"Olivia?" Elliot asked as he opened the door. The seal had been broken, but he knew that Olivia would never get in trouble for entering while it was still considered a crime scene.

"I'm so lost... Elliot, I raised Michaela and Julia here. I gave birth to Julia here... but then this place is also where my husband was fatally shot... I killed him." Olivia breathed. She was standing by the fireplace, her hands holding on tightly to the mantel. She was in tears, but that was pretty much the way she had been for weeks.

"We can sell this place. You can use the money to buy a different place. One that is smaller and easier for you to raise your two girls in." Elliot spoke, as he slowly walked to her. Olivia slipped her hand into the front pocket of the sweatshirt she had borrowed from Maureen, before looking at the white stick in her hand.

"Three girls... or maybe this one will be a boy." Olivia sniffled. Elliot froze in his spot before eyeing his friend.

"What?"

"I've suspected it for a while. It was too early at the hospital to see if I was pregnant... but then again I never told them." Olivia spoke.

"Oh, baby." Elliot breathed. Olivia looked up at him and shook her head.

"Don't call me that, El. You are married... I already hate myself so much for kissing you-"

"I kissed you back, Olivia! I wanted it too!" Elliot exclaimed.

"How could you want this?! Elliot, I killed my husband!" Olivia sobbed. He quickly bridged the gap between him and Olivia before wrapping his arms around her tightly. He pulled her as close as possible, before caressing her hair.

"Because I have always loved you, Olivia. For a while, I loved you just as a friend. My best friend. But then I started to love you like I loved Kathy for years. I want to be with you, but you are so sick, and I cannot use you."

"Use me? Elliot, you'd never do that." Olivia whispered.

"You aren't ready and might never be ready for a relationship. So all I can do for you is be there for you. To hold your hand. I'll be there when you have this baby, just like I was for Michaela and Julia. Because Christopher was absent and you needed someone."

"I don't know how you can look at me after seeing me have two babies..."

"Olivia, you were here all alone during that storm. Michaela was just a little thing and couldn't help, so I had to help. And that just made me realize that you were stronger than I even thought you were. So please, just let me take care of you until you can take care of yourself." Elliot spoke. Olivia stepped back before brushing tears from her cheeks. She walked away from Elliot before up the stairs.

"Don't go up there!" Elliot exclaimed. Olivia didn't listen, so Elliot followed as quickly as he could.

He tried to stop Olivia, but she walked through her open bedroom door and into the bathroom. She stopped when she saw the dry blood on the floor before running her fingers through her hair.

"I'll never be able to forgive myself for killing Chris. I should have done something different. Like just cuffing him to the bedframe."

"Liv-"

"He did it to me before, why not use the same move on him?"

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Elliot followed Olivia back to the house, and when they got out and headed up the path, Kathy came out onto the front porch.

"Are you two sleeping together?" Kathy asked, and Olivia eyed her in confusion.

"What?"

"My husband loves you, Olivia! He loves you more than he loves me!" Kathy cried. Olivia brushed a tear from her cheek before walking up to the porch.

"I'll get my girls and get out... there is nothing between us, Kathy. Especially because I'm pregnant again. Thanks for letting us stay here." Olivia breathed. She moved into the house as Elliot hesitantly approached his wife.

"She's pregnant?" Kathy whispered.

"She's got the test to prove it..."

"Where is she going to go?" Kathy asked quietly.

"No idea. But I know that she isn't wanted here by you anymore." Elliot sighed. Kathy grabbed his arm tightly before he could walk into the house.

"She can stay, but you can't."

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