Question #2: What is the meaning of "I LOVE YOU"?
Why do I love him and what do I mean when I tell him "I love you"? Good question. In fact, he’s been pestering me with the same question for the last 24 months. But, love is such a broad, generic term that needs to be broken down into more manageable, meaningful chunks.
First, there is the question of lust. Why do I fantasize about licking him? Ears. Toes. Baby, I’ll take anything. If you are shy, you can be a dumb, big bear and I will be your sexy kitten—feral and ferocious but I can do cutesy too if you prefer. A holy prude man is a man, too. What? You are about to melt already? Don’t boom yet, I have so much more to offer. Pick your favorite flavor. Strawberry or cream? Ice cubes and a shiver down your spine? I’m up for anything. Slower, faster, up or down or left. Sure, there are deeper reasons why I'm drawn to you but a longing for a physical and emotional union is the most instinctual and passionate part of love.
Then, there is the issue of respect. I’ve met and befriended many men in my life, but I only respect a handful of them. I’m not talking about their intelligence or accomplishments, but the strength of their character and how they’ve been handling their lives. I’m sorry but I ain’t want to be joined to a pussy. I want a man humble enough to admit his shortcomings, humble enough to put his head down and work hard instead of waiting for the golden apple to fall from the sky. I need to be that one person who believes in him no matter how often his business goes under, no matter what misfortune befalls, and without deep-seated faith in him, I can’t do that. I love him because I know and respect who he is, regardless of how he is doing in any particular day or year.
Finally, there is the noblest, but the most difficult question of unconditional giving. Unconditional in the sense that no matter how hard I try, there is no way I would ever know everything about him. He, like any other human being, is so much more profound and complex than I would ever be able to comprehend. There will be days when I’d be shocked to discover him succumbing to his basest impulses. Throughout his life, he will come into contact with so many different people and his worldview will change too. The guy I fell in love with at age 21 will not be the same guy I wake up next to at age 88.
Given this reality, what does it mean when I say I love him? I mean, I like him enough, I believe in him enough to make a commitment, even though I don’t know for sure if I will come to regret taking this half-blind leap of faith. I mean, I’m not just falling in love with the person he is right now, but I’m falling in love with the best person he can possibly become. I can’t be his savior but I want to be right there next to him, to challenge him and to comfort him. To play a major role in the making of his destiny. And of course, I want to lick his wounds when he falls and use my feminine charms to enchant and enrich his private life.
-----------------------------------------
Suggestions For Further Reading
Fisher, Helen (2005-01-02). Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love . Henry Holt and Co.. Kindle Edition. A research-based, informative book on the attachment aspect of romantic love (What does it mean when a couple says we have a good chemistry?”)
Modern Love: 50 True and Extraordinary Tales of Desire, Deceit, and Devotion. Crown Publishing Group. (2007-01-23). A collection of essays from “Modern Love” columns in the New York Times. Real Life Stories.
Fisher, Helen (2009-01-20). Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love By Understanding Your Personality Type Henry Holt and Co. A fascinating book on four types of temperaments and four types of lovers.
Chapman, Gary D (2009-12-30). The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. Moody Publishers. A book that will help you understand what your lover actually wants.
Http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2013/01/01/what-is-love/
Famous definitions of love from 400 years of literary history
YOU ARE READING
Millennial's Monologue: Secret Dramas in Our Hearts & Souls
Non-FictionREAL LIFE STORY: I was a stereotypical high achiever in an Ivy League school who got suspended for plagiarism; April was a sweet girl who worked in a high-end prostitution ring. We were both in our early twenties when we became friends. A perfect...
