Solitude -> The Walking Dead

40

She passed by him to leave the room, but he grabbed her elbow. If she wanted to, she could've ripped her arm away. She didn't. Instead she released a shaky breath.

"We were happy though, right? Were you happy?" Merle asked.

I frowned at the almost desperate tone in his voice. Say what you will about Merle, but he did care for my sister. In his own twisted way.

I never approved of them and I probably never will. But I won't deny that they loved each other. Despite all the shit they've been through, they still cared.

"Back when there was three of us? Yes. But now you're just a painful reminder of what we've lost. I have to move on and so do you."

Merle nodded. It was in that moment that I felt bad for eavesdropping. This was a conversation that I didn't need to know about. Merle's and Dakota's relationship was a lot more complicated than I gave it credit for.

"Just do me a favor, alright? You take care of yourself, and-and you be happy. God knows you deserve at least that." Merle stated.

The sound of footsteps echoed through the hall and I bit my lip not knowing what to do with the newfound information. The two of them wouldn't have worked out either way.

"Eavesdropping isn't very nice, Josette."

I stepped behind the wall so he could see the scowl on my face. He's capable of ruining even the smallest amounts of pity I have for him. He didn't seem upset by my listening in, only slightly irritated.

"It's Josephine, asshole."

"No one cares, sweetheart."

We glared at each other with smirks on our faces. He sat down on a chair and I crossed my arms over my chest. He was the last person that I wanted to talk to. His only competition was Daryl.

"I'm assuming Rick told you about his little plan." Merle said.

I nodded not even pretending to be surprised by his knowledge of that. Merle was the one who did the dirty work, even back at the camp. It's no surprise that he was the muscle for this.

"You know he's not going to go through with it, right? He ain't got the balls for it."

"And you do, Dixon?"

"Hell yeah, I do. And you know I'm right."

I took a deep breath as Merle looked at me expectantly. What does he want from me? Confirmation that Rick wasn't going to go through with it? I wouldn't know, not really.

My gut tells me that he won't and my head that he's not as predictable as I used to think. Him killing Shane? I didn't see that coming. Maybe I should've.

"It doesn't matter what we think, Merle." I replied.

In the end, Rick is going to do what he thinks is best. Whether that agrees with us or not. That's a truth we can't keep ignoring. I already told him what I think about this deal. There's nothing else I can do.

"It matters what you think, to him at least." He grumbled.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as he got up and mumbled something about taking a piss. This world has changed everyone but him.

If he wants to survive, he has to adapt top. He won't make it otherwise.

----

"When I met with the Governor, he offered me a deal. He said he would leave us alone if I gave him Michonne. And I was gonna do that, to keep us safe." Rick stated.

I looked at Abby sitting next to Dakota and then to Ryan standing next to Glenn. They were my family and I would've done anything to keep them safe, too.

"I changed my mind. But now Merle took Michonne to fulfill the deal and Daryl went to stop him and I don't know if it's too late." Rick said.

Dakota looked over her shoulder and at me. We were both aware of the dangers that the outside of the prison had. Neither Daryl nor Merle were safe.

"I was wrong not to tell you. And I'm sorry. What I said last year, that first night after the farm..." He trailed off as his eyes met mine.

The image of us kissing in the dark, away from the others, immediately popped into my head. And he remembered it too. I could tell from the way he wavered in his speech.

"It can't be like that, it can't. What we do, what we're willing to do, who we are, it's not my call. It can't be. I couldn't sacrifice one of us for the greater good because we are the greater good. We're the reason we're still here, not me." Rick said.

I didn't know where he was going with this. The acknowledgment of our teamwork was appreciated though. But he was also wrong. Without him, we wouldn't be here. We needed a leader to step up and that was him.

"This is life and death. How you live, how you die, it isn't up to me. I'm not your Governor. We choose to go, we choose to stay. We stick together." Rick said.

My eyes softened at his speech. He wasn't anything like the Governor. I hope he knows that. That man is cold and cruel and broken. Rick Grimes is none of those things.

"We vote. We can stay and fight or we can go."

-----

It was hours later that I stood watch waiting for any sign of Merle or Daryl. I was about to give up on waiting and to go search for them. But then I saw a lone figure making its way to the prison.

I immediately went to meet whoever it was halfway. As I got closer, I could see it was Daryl. A huge sigh of relief left my lips as I stopped moving.

Now that I knew he was okay, I wanted to go back and pretend like I didn't see him. Let someone else wait for him.

And I was going to until I noticed he was alone. Normally that wouldn't be strange, but he went to look for his brother.

My legs carried me towards him as I had a bad feeling about this. He looked up at the sound of my footsteps and stopped in his tracks. I frowned at the action and stepped closer so I could see his face.

"Daryl, are you okay? Where's Merle?" I asked.

At the mention of his name, Daryl raised his head and I could see the tears in his eyes. He opened his mouth but couldn't speak. I froze as I realized what had happened.

At that moment, I didn't care about the fact that I broke off things between us. Hell, I didn't even care that Daryl probably still hated me. I reached forward and wrapped my arms around him.

He wrapped his arms around my waist without hesitation. Sobs wrecked through his body as he cried into my shoulder. My grip on him tightened as I understood how much this hurt him.

The thought of losing any of my siblings was unbearable. Let alone actually going through that.

Despite us not being together, there was no way I was going to let him go through this alone. Even if he might hate me for it.

"I'm so sorry, Daryl." I mumbled.

At this point, I didn't even know what I was apologizing for. His brother being dead? Breaking up with him? Maybe a combination of both. If I'd known this was going to happen, I would've waited before ending things.

The last thing I wanted was for him to experience this much heartbreak. He deserved so much better than this. Even if he didn't believe that, I did and I always will.

So I stood there trying to ease the pain of the man whose heart I broke mere days ago. However, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered except making him feel better.