30 Days & Counting - Sanders Sides

Day 9

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Abusive Parenting & Suicide

"Alright you guys! Settle down, settle down!" Dr. Picani called out to us. I turned my head to the kind-hearted man, poking his head in the doorway. I turned to the others, who were all chatting amongst themselves. Roman and Remus were in a deep conversation with Damion about Greek Mythology, while Logan and Patton had their arms linked together. They were cooing at each other, which I thought was cute. I was glad Patton was feeling better today, and Logan seemed to have almost put the past couple days behind him.

Right now, we were all sitting in a circle, each inhabiting our own little beanbag. I was sitting on a purple one, with Damion next to me on a yellow one. However, on the other side of me was a pink one, which I assumed was reserved for Dr. Picani. The doctor strolled further into the room. Clipboard in hand, he crossed his legs and lowered himself on to his beanbag. Now, he had fully captured everyone's attention.

Picani clicked his pen, and set the pen gently on the paper as to not create a puddle of ink. "Before we start, I want to ask you guys, how you're feeling today." Picani began. He pointed his pen at Roman, signalling for him to start.

"Tired" Roman said.

"Afraid" Remus told out.

"Icky." Patton.

"Uncomfortable." Logan.

"Judged." Damion.

"W-Weak." I said. Picani nodded, writing all of our statements down.

"So, you guys, you're probably wondering why I called you all here into The Cultural Room." Picani started. The Cultural Room, was basically, Dr. Picani's second office, as Damion had told me. But instead of seeing one patient at a time, he can bring a group together. A group therapy of sorts.

"Well, I been thinking: with the past couple days that have happened here, I thought you all could use this time, to talk to each other." Picani explained. "Now, I want to talk about those feelings you all just listed."

"Oh great! A mesh pot of feelings and bullshit." Remus scoffed, crossing his arms. He sunk further into his beanbag as Roman's cheeks flared up in embarrassment.

"Why does that bother you so much, Remus?" The doctor asked, tapping his pen against his clipboard. Remus' eyes grew slightly, his body deflating a little.

"I don't know. Feelings just...get people hurt. At least, that's all I've ever known." Remus spat. He turned his head away from the group, obviously not wanting us to see his face.

"I might be able to...shed some light on this!" Roman rose his hand, putting his opposite hand gently on his brother's leg. Picani nodded, letting him speak.  "In our household, feelings were a sign of weakness. More specifically, negative feelings. Out foster parents thought negative feelings lead to disappointment. And as they always said-"

"'We didn't adopt useless children'" Remus huffed, finishing Roman's statement. We all turned back to Remus, he leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees. "Our foster parents wanted us to succeed. But...only if we were the best at everything. Roman was only good at performances if he was the lead. Or, I was only good baseball if I was always hitting home runs. Second best was never enough for them. It got really draining after a while." Remus explained.

"Are you having negative feelings right now then, Remus?" Picani questioned. Remus' eyes flashed with nerves. He looked to his brother who gave him a supportive eye. Remus nodded, swallowing his old thoughts.

"Yeah...I guess I am."

"Elaborate, if you feel comfortable." Picani said. Remus looked between the five of us. We all smiled at him, giving him the edge he needed to carry on with his thoughts.