Secrecy from the Fans - Luke Brooks

Sweet Dreams Cutie

The next week Luke and I didn’t see each other but he still made the effort to text me everyday. It would either be a continuous conversation during the day texting each other when we weren’t busy or he would drop me a long good night text filled with <3’s and x’s. I would always want to talk to him during the day but the text intervals went from a few minutes and became hours. I was afraid that he would find me annoying so I waited for him to text me first. He really was a sweetie when he text me though, always making sure that I had a good day and I would always make an effort to ask him as well. He always told me how much he wish I was with him, cuddled up into his arms and I would say the same saying how much I wish I could feel safe in his arms. Not lying once to him. If we weren’t sending cute texts we would usually talk about our friends and family. It was nice to know that he was always there in my pocket if I needed someone to talk to. Last night however he hadn’t messaged me all day and he hadn’t sent me a goodnight text that was usually at 11pm. I was getting a bit worried and anxious. I was worried that I had annoyed him or his feelings had changed or he had been hurt. So I sent the first text.

Rachel: Hey babe, sorry if you are sleeping! how was your day? X

I double-checked that my phone was off silent so I could hear if he messages me and I chuck it across my bed just missing Bear who was fast asleep. I grab my laptop of my side table and check my social media sites opening all three in each tab; facebook, tumblr and twitter. I quickly checked each of Luke’s social medias noting that he had only posted one tweet today several hours ago:

 ‘Defiantly no ugly Melbourne girls out today ;)’

 

I felt my stomach drop when I read it and a pang of jealousy and anger hit me. I shouldn’t feel like this though he wasn’t even mine. We weren’t even anything. I knew he could get pretty much any girl in Melbourne and in the world with his fame and amazingly good looks. He could get someone who was prettier, smarter, taller, skinnier, calmer, stronger and better than me. I felt a lump form in my throat; I hated the way that he made me feel. He made me feel all happy and on top of the world one minute and then the next I could feel anxious and clammy. Just from a simple text. He honestly was one of the most wonderful people in my life at the moment and I had grown awfully attached to the idea of him never leaving. I have a hard time thinking about how I felt about him as I had never felt like this about anyone else. I feel like I’ve let him too close and if I told him how I feel it would only drive him away. I couldn’t find the right words or say the right things and really sum it all up how much I liked him anyway. It made my heart and sides ache just thinking about it. He made me feel like this in the space of two weeks. I scrolled down my facebook newsfeed, checking on all the kids at school. I could see all the couples that were posting on each other’s walls on how much they loved each other. I felt a tear slip down my cheek and I quickly caught it. Why did one person out of all the people in the world make me feel like this just because he hadn’t text me all day? I refresh twitter to see that Beau had posted a new tweet:

‘hey guys!! the new video will be up tomorrow night.’

 

I feel a sense of relief flush over me realizing that Luke was busy all day and was probably editing the video now. I hear the usual facebook chat tone and change to the facebook tab to see Luke had messaged me.

Luke: Hey babe <3 Can I video call you?