The Memoir of Aderyn Clark

A Deep

It's been a long time since the last time I touch alcohol that's not in a formal setting. To be honest, after uni, I lost all the urge to party till you passed out kinda thing. I was ambitious, I got plans, I got to-do list, I put everything else on hold so I could tackle all the deadlines I set for myself. It works out pretty well, yes, because here I am, a successful business entrepreneur, but I could've let myself to be more open, if only I let it, everything that happened with King recently wouldn't be happening. I wouldn't succumbed to my loneliness and let King in, he wouldn't even be in my proximity, he would be like a fly that I could just swat away.

Trey wasn't lying, I don't know how, but King had already put in the application for the marriage two days before, and it was granted the day before the accident. No wonder he forced me to change my dress that day. I was told by the court office that King had the date and time booked beforehand, so all we need to do is go there at the allotted time and be married, except we never made it there.

Tucker give me a specific instructions on what to do, what to say, and what to do if it didn't go according to the plan. There's plan A and B, plan A was me petitioning for a posthumous marriage—I seriously didn't know such thing exist, because "till death do us part" you know... and plan B was King's parents telling the probate court that I am their son's wife. I mean, I'm not forcing anything, I'm just doing all this to respect a deadman's wish. And being honest, plan A scares me.

If I'm doing that marriage thing, it feels like I'm marrying a ghost, and I don't even want to marry him when he was alive. In a way, both plan was hard to execute, but plan B sounds more legal than trying to marry a ghost. But a week later, after being declined of a posthumous marriage—thank god!—the judge at the probate court finally recognize the marriage, that never happened, as legal, making me eligible for my share of his will.  Amazing, now problem solved. Pfft.

°°°

I finally succumb to the temptation. I visited the clinic, or as King said in his will, the lab. They were very helpful when I asked about King's sample, they're also very helpful about my chance of having a baby post-hysterectomy

They told me about surrogacy, how they would fertilize my eggs outside the womb and putting it inside another woman's body. It's very tempting, honestly, but the question is, do I want to do it? I said It myself before that I don't want to be that single mom who have a baby using a donor, but this is not just some random donor, it's the guy who I had babies with before. But again, I'm already forcing a marriage, that never happened, with the guy I don't even want to be married to, then I'm gonna go making a baby with the same guy's sperm? Am I starting to lose my mind? What happen to my life? So, I told the clinic, that I will think about it.

Okay, I think this would be more easier to understand if I backdated to the week before.

I was so busy with the company ownership transfer that I haven't have the time to actually play Phoenix Strikes, the game I was so eager to play again few weeks ago, and last week, I finally have the time, I'm so excited.

I loaded the game, the loading screen was looking so much better than I remember, it got better quality and looking more creative. When I finally passed the loading screen, I had to put in my info so it would pickup where I left off. Then in-game messages starts pouring in. At the time, I was on the high ranking level, so there's a bunch of people trying to play with my character. Just because I'm offline doesn't mean my character can't be asked to join in.

So I scroll through those messages, a little surprise to see how many people are still trying to get me joining their game, even recently, when I haven't been active for 9 years and this is the first minute I'm back in the game. My in-game partners, all stopped inviting me to join in 7 years ago, except one. The one that I had my suspicion on, since the day I took over his account. I mean the chances are not that big, somebody could just happen to have the same name. So I messaged him, and it popped up on the TV. Imagine that.

Respiro, you're such a dick!

So this whole time, I've been talking shits about him, to the guy himself. He must've feel so full of himself. I would never guess who he was because he was nice, unlike the guy I faced everyday in school. I kinda feel a bit betrayed, because I thought this guy was my friend, when he was actually the enemy all along. So anyway, Respiro keeps sending me messages after messages even after I told him I'm done with the game and starting my life in the real world, his last message was more than a year ago, saying his own goodbye. "It's my turn now to start living in the real world. See you soon, Alito." Fuck you to hell and back, Kingston Kane!

I was planning to just ignore all his previous messages and look through the other messages from everybody. Maybe I could message my old in-game partner and see if they still play the game, I could check their steam profile, see when they're last active. But like all my other plans, it failed me once he got involved. Fuck my life. I know I said that a lot lately, but really, fuck my life.