The Black and White Mirror / bts x bp ff

ʎʇɹᴉɥʇ

I'm already contented with Taehyung and Jennie, and all of my friends. It's just that I didn't know that I'll be this fond for Ryujin. I also adore her entirely. Because of that, it was easy to trust her.

𓂀𑁍𓂀

Today is the day.

The day of my birth.

And the death anniversary of my parents.

Funny enough, I don't treat my birthday as something special nor even really celebrate it ever since that fiasco on my 18th birthday. So instead of celebrating, Taehyung and I would visit our parents' grave.

No fancy events or activities. Not even fancy food. Just peacefully eating our favorite snacks while we're in front of their grave.

Taehyung and I would just catch up from all the things that happened that each of us missed out on and we sometimes pretend that they are still alive and listening to all our rants and success. And we will stay there until the sun sets, except if we will eat out for lunch.

"Ma. Pa. I didn't expect that both of your death is actually much broader than it seems." TAEHYUNG was the first one to speak.

He puts down the flowers that both us got for both of them. He puts each bouquet of flowers on each of the head stones and below it are two candles each.

Taehyung then looks at me as if he was telling me to go ahead and voice out all the thoughts in my head. He really knows that I have so much in my mind that is constantly bothering me and I need to let them out. You can say it's a form of therapy.

"We recently found out everything. We were all wondering why we couldn't catch the man who did this to you. Turns out, two people planned to kill both of you. One of which is someone I know well but at the same time I still am clueless about him as a whole." I started and tears began to well in my eyes.

"I am such a special person, ma, pa. Both of you knew that. Did you somehow knew about this? But I can't believe that I am THIS special. I am so special that I don't want to be one. I never wished to be one."

As I said the last sentence, I didn't try holding back my tears. I let all the tears down and cried in front of my parents' grave.

I may be independent, but I will still and always be finding myself missing the times that I was dependent on my parents. The time where I need them in order for me to stand.

"I really miss you both. I just hoped that my life wasn't like this. I can maybe accept your passing, but my situation now is much harder than all the things I have experienced before. I would always try so hard to stand up firmly once again but there would always come a time that something will trip me and hold me back. I miss the times that I was just purely enjoying life with no worries."

I continue to sob and cry pathetically in front of my parents' graves. From my left side, Taehyung hands me a handkerchief in which I did not hesitate to accept. I wipe my tears coming out of my eyes as well as my nose with it.

It was like that for awhile. Just me crying, the comfort of the peaceful surroundings and the silence.

"Out of all the people I have met, no one can compare as to how strong you are Jisoo-ah. And I believe that this challenge was given to you because you can handle it. You are strong and brave enough. You can do it. This will all pass eventually."