Joanne Suggwell One Shots 3

A Voice In The Distance

This was written for emilia3112 I hope you like it, it doesn't quite fit exactly what you asked but I hope it's okay. Please please say if not.

Warning for this one as it contains talk of anxiety, just proceed with caution. ❤

Joe woke up to an empty bed and an all too familiar feeling in his chest. With a brain moving faster between subjects than a jet propelled bejewelled grasshopper, he got up and stumbled to the bathroom. He walked straight in, unaware of his surroundings and leaned over the sink, choking the increasing feeling of sick as far down as it would go, splashing his face with the water. Joe met his reflection in the mirror in front of him and tried not to gag at it. His skin looked pale and sickly, his hair sweaty and tangled. The face staring back, somehow, didn't belong to him.

"Joseph?" A voice in the distance said, as hand landed on his arm making him jerk and recoil.

"Joseph?" It said it again, louder through his thoughts this time. The voice was cutting through them somehow, like a jungle explorer with a machete, only this was actually much more gentle then that. Perhaps then it should be described as a ninja back flipping through a maze of lasers, or a dancer travelling through a crowd. Either way the voice was managing to reach his conscious.

"Little one?"

This made Joe look in the direction the voice came, a blurred image of peach and red arriving in his vision. It cleared and he felt his body stumble forward again towards the familiarity.

It was Dianne. She could help.

"Yes, I thought a hug was a good idea too, you need to slow down your breathing though Joseph, you'll make yourself poorly." Her hand was on his chest and he was sure one of the digits attached to it was moving in a steady rhythm. Joe tried to but became distracted by new things registering in his conscious. The first being that the things that were holding him up seemed to be disappearing slowly- he'd need to do something about that. The other was that the things gripping her felt heavy and were taking too much effort to keep up. With this new information he dropped his arms and let his legs buckle. He expected to fall to the floor, where he knew the air would be easier to breath but he didn't- she had caught him.

"Joseph, you're scaring me. Do you not feel well, should I call an ambulance?"

He shook his head, forcing his legs to keep going. He needed to get rid of the thoughts that were drowning him. The thoughts that were clamping their slimy hands over his mouth stopping him from breathing. The hands and an elephant stuck on his chest.

"Are you having a panic attack? Are you anxious?"

He did the opposite of shake his head this time. He could no longer see her and he knew that his hands were doing something that she wasn't liking because they suddenly took hold of them and stopped them from moving.

"Okay, let's sit down, that was a good idea. Erm breathing right er, Joe can you fill your tummy all the way up with air. All the way, make it as fat as you can."

He could and he did sort of. The elephant didn't move though it just felt like it wriggled and kept sitting down. Dianne said to do it again so he did and the slimy hands felt like they moved.

"So much to do."

"I know but first we're going to calm right down."

"I've got 3 contracts to finalise and 2 videos to edit and a self taping to do. And then it's nearly your birthday and I haven't got the presents and mum wanted to speak to me but I forgot to call her."

"I know. But first Joseph, you need to breathe. And relax. And then we'll work it all out." Joe couldn't do that though. He put his head on his knees and started crying trying, desperately to keep his breathing even. "Just do what feels right," she mumbled.

"Zoe," he heard her say along with a jumble of other words that didn't spark his attention like her name had. He lifted his head and looked at her, she had a phone to her ear but had kept one of her hands on his shoulder.

"Yeah okay, thank you, yeah, no I think we'll be okay, course I will. Yeah that might be an idea actually. Kay we'll call you later, thanks," Dianne was looking right at him as she spoke and the hand on his shoulder had settled on his cheek, stroking softly.

"How are you feeling?" Dianne asked him, thumb still rhythmically moving.

"Stressed, anxious, poorly, tired. I can't work there's too much to do," Joe explained, head falling into his hands.

"I'll call Oli, let him know you're not very well, that you need everything rearranging. Then we'll get back onto bed and cuddle. Then, if you feel up for it Zoe's invited us to hers for a couple of days so you clear your mind, alright?" She was speaking firmly, his head lifted to meet her eyes. Joe nodded and slumped forward into her shoulder. Dianne stroked the back of his head and then took each of his hands, unclenching them in order to hold each of them. He held them tight but she didn't mind, pulling him up, walking him to the bed.

"Hugs help Joe, the pressure can help feeling anxious. So you just show me what feels right, you just take my limbs and put them where you want. You're in control Joseph." She watched this thought break through the rest and he laid down on the bed patting next to him. Once she was sat down she immediately knew that he wanted to be little spoon, so, once she had quickly texted Joe's manager, Oliver, she curled up behind him, laying her arm on his ribs, hand taking his.

"I love you Joseph, I'm here for you."

The couple didn't end up going to Zoe's or moving from the bed for that matter but Joe did end up feeling better. By the following day he scooped his thoughts up that had slowly fallen scattered around the bedroom and managed to get everything he needed to get done complete, much to Dianne's surprise. It had scared her, Joe falling into her. Joe barely breathing. But it had also reminded her that even Joe wasn't invincible and that having a day where nothing gets done, where all you can do is breathe is okay.