"Rey?"
I opened my eyes in the dark room, the smell of river water and soil filled my nose. I'd fled back to Ahch-To, hiding from everyone and everything after the resistance was defeated. I had no more hope left in anyone but myself, I was the only one who I could trust anymore.
"Rey" Ben's voice called, I looked in the direction he was calling from. It made me furious that he would even speak to me after the deeds he's done.
"What!" I shouted, his eyes were wide and his body looked rigid and shaken. I wanted nothing more then to destroy the connection between Ben and I. "What could you possibly want now?" I screamed, he took in a sharp breath and let it slowly.
"You" he answered, I painfully sighed and stood up from my bed. Seeing him standing in front of me, looking proud of what he'd done sickened me.
"Can't you see, there is no more fight Rey, there is no war" he tried to say confidingly but I couldn't handle it. He's trying to make it seem like everything his mother stood for was a joke, and that I should just get over it.
Knowing that Leia is out in the galaxy, hiding with my friends made me sick, and it was his fault. "You destroyed my home" I mumbled, but he shook his head.
"You never had a home" he spit, I grabbed a cup from my bedside table and chucked it at his head in rage. I missed completely but I couldn't just let him berate me with his cruel words.
"I did! It was the resistance! They made me feel safe! Your mother gave me a home and a family I could protect and you killed them all!" I screamed, my own voice echoing in my stone hutt. His face was strangely remorseful, I turned my back to him and felt hot tears run down my face, the painful memory of the dread-knot attacking the base filled my mind.
Leia made me run away, she told me to run and hide.
Then Finn's cries as I ran away from him, they made my heart ache.
"I didn't kill anyone" he argued calmly, the nonchalant tone in his voice angered me unlike anything I'd felt before.
"Don't lie, you're a monster of your own creation" I spit back.
"I wouldn't lie to you" he said softly, I looked back at him and nearly gasped as I saw a tear running down his face, but that didn't mean anything anymore. I walked up to him and got right in his face.
"I hope I see you again, so I can kill you" I hissed, his eyes searched mine but I kept him from seeing anything.
"You don't mean that" he said quietly, as if my words hurt him. "That day we fought Snoke together...did that mean nothing?" He asked, I stepped away from his face and realized what I'd done.
I can not let rage take control, that is what he wants, he wants me to go to the dark side so I can be with him. There is light in me and in Ben, I just have to look deeper than the surface. I sat down on my bed and took a deep breath, think about that day.
He saved my life and killed the man he was most afraid of, for me. Then he offered me his hand and I refused, that why he was angry, because he wanted me and I said no.
"Yes" I said softly, his face becoming more interested in my next words, "it did"
I looked up at him and tried my hardest to see Ben Solo and not Kylo Ren.
"I saw the real you that day...but you killed him too, you think you have to be awful in every way but you don't...you can be Ben" I said softly, trying not to anger him in any way. I know he regrets many things he's done, I've felt the regret myself. He covers his true self by thinking that he needs to be everything he's not.
"I can't take back what I've done Rey, we both know that" he spit, I just giggled and nodded my head.
"Of course, but that's what forgiveness is" He looked down at me and reached his hand out. The feeling of his hand touching my shoulder made my body freeze up, but the look in his eyes made the feeling disappear.
"Would you?" He asked, I furrowed my brow and stared at him for a second, "would you forgive me?" He asked.
The question made my mind freeze, could I forgive him? After everything? Leia would've forgiven him, she would never not forgive her son.
I remembered what Luke said to me while I was here.
"The Jedi believe in the good of people, revenge is never the answer"
I sighed and looked up at Ben, if I wanted to be good...I had to forgive him, it's what Jedi believed in.
"Yes Ben, I would" I said quietly, his hand left my arm and my heart longed for the feeling to return to my skin. He stared at me with sad eyes, I could feel his heart ache. Although I thought my life had fallen apart, I had to realize then Ben's had been crumbling ever since that awful day Luke tried to kill him.
Ben suddenly breathed in very slow and his eyes went from soft to cold, he's doing it again. He's trying to hide make himself feel cold and emotionless again.
"No, Ben, don't-" I tried to say but he had already changed.
"When I find where you've been hiding, I won't be as merciful as you have been." He hissed, he stepped away from me and I could feel our connection breaking, "I'm sorry" he said quietly, but the words were loud and clear to me.
"Ben-" I said quickly but he broke the connection.
And I was alone again.
