Bandom Bingo

Letters You Never Meant To Send

Pairing: Josh Dun x Reader

Word Count: 1983

Warnings: Angst

Author's Note: I hope you enjoy this one :)

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You grabbed the last box from the top of the closet and dropped it onto the ground, bringing down a fresh wave of dust with it. You immediately pulled your shirt up over your nose as you fanned it away from where you were going to sit to actually sort through the contents of the box. There was no way you were going to spend the next twenty minutes sneezing on top of looking through papers and pictures that would undoubtedly bring up emotional memories.

When the dust finally settled, you sat cross legged on the ground next to the box and pulled off the top. You were immediately met with a stack of old polaroids. They had been given to you by a close friend when you first announced that you would be moving to Ohio. It had always been your intention to hang them up in your new house, but they brought up too many memories during the first few months of being away from home and you never got around to it. Maybe you would actually put them up somewhere in your new house.

After taking some time to flip through the pictures, you continued to move through the box. There were all sorts of treasures inside: old school projects, too many birthday cards for you to count, old movie and concert tickets, and other scraps of paper that you hardly remembered the significance of. You took your time looking through all of it, deciding what was worth keeping and what you could let go of.

Something at the bottom of the box caught your interest as you were sifting through another stack of photos. It looked like a manila envelope, but you couldn't for the life of you remember what you had stuck in it. You carefully pulled it out from beneath the rest of the contents and looked at it. The only thing on the outside was a bit of dust; there was nothing else indicating what was inside. Curiosity piqued, you undid the little clasp and opened it up.

Your stomach dropped as you got your first glimpse of the papers inside the envelope. It was a collection of letters that you had written for your boyfriend, detailing how you felt about him. Your eyes started to well up a little bit as you skimmed some of the pages.

You kissed me for the first time today. I've never felt anything like it. I swear there were sparks in every part of my body, going off like little fireworks. I wanted to kiss you again and again and again but I got too nervous to actually do it.

You flipped to another page.

I think I'm falling in love with you. When people said they get tunnel vision whenever they look at someone they love, I thought it was an exaggeration. Then I met you. I swear nothing else matters when you're around, Josh. You smile at me and the rest of the world just fades away.

Your heart sunk as you continued to read the letters, remembering the way he had made you feel.

Today officially marks one month since you left for tour. We're on FaceTime right now, but you have no idea that I'm writing this. It's hard to focus when you keep smiling at me through the screen because my heart starts to beat so fast that my hands shake and I can't keep these words straight. It's hard to be away from you, but I know that you'll be home soon. I can't wait to be in your arms again and fall asleep next to you while we watch The X-Files for the hundredth time. I love you.

You set the letters down in your lap and wiped a few tears away from your eyes. It had been easy to forget how much Josh had meant to you when you had tucked all the memories away, but the cut he had left still ran deep. There had never been an official end to your relationship. The two of you had just steadily grown apart over time until one day, you just stopped talking entirely. You would give anything just to talk to him one more time and get answers to all your questions.