Bandom Bingo

Turn Back the Clock

Pairing: Tyler Joseph x Reader

Word Count: 961

Warnings: Pure angst

Author's Note: The POV is a little weird in this one, but I feel like it fit the story best as I was writing it! Also sorry for the sad fic, but I figured it had been awhile since I posted something angst like this! I hope you enjoy :)

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The music was loud as the boys sat huddled over Tyler's phone on the tour bus couch, scrolling through old photos and laughing about memories they had associated with them. Most of the other crew members were nearby, having a snack or enjoying a post-show nap to celebrate another success.

"Is that from the night that I snapped my drumstick in half and nearly took out a light?" Josh asked, barely able to get the entire sentence out before he began to laugh.

"Yeah!" Tyler joined in on his laughter. "And I was so distracted that I bumped into the piano and had that bruise on my hip for weeks."

"Oh man, that bruise was gnarly."

"There's probably a picture of it in here somewhere."

"We'll get to it eventually. What else you got?"

Tyler scrolled to the next picture and immediately felt his heart sink. It was one of you and him that you had taken after a show. His nose was pressed to the side of your face as he tried to kiss you; the laughter on your face was evident. He stared at it for a moment before quickly swiping away, silently hoping that Josh hadn't noticed his hesitation.

"Wow, who let me wear that shirt on stage?" Josh laughed, but it didn't feel the same as it did a few minutes ago. Tyler's mind had started down a one-track path and he knew there was no going back now.

"I don't know, we both made some interesting fashion choices." He locked his phone and set it down in his lap. Josh must have noticed his change in demeanor, because he reached out and put a hand on Tyler's back, giving it a couple reassuring pats. He was desperately grasping at happy memories, trying to get himself back into the joyful mentality he had, but nothing seemed to be working. "I think I'm going to head to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

He got up before Josh had a chance to protest what he was doing. Tears were already brimming in his eyes and that was not a state that he wanted his friends to see him in. As soon as he was behind a closed door, he collapsed onto the bed and buried his face in the pillow so that nobody would accidentally hear his shaky intakes of breath.

It had been a year since you and him had mutually decided to call things off. Neither of you had been particularly fond of the idea, but between Tyler being on tour all the time and you having to stay home for work, you decided it would be for the best if you put a temporary end to your relationship.

Or at least, Tyler hoped it would be temporary.

He slowly pulled his phone back out of his pocket and opened it back up to the picture of the two of you. There were only a small handful that he still had on his phone, most of them he had backed up onto his computer, stuck them away in a folder so that they were hard to get to, and then deleted them off his phone so he didn't have to deal with the reminders. The only ones he kept were the ones that had too many good memories attached for him to totally wipe off his phone.

His eyes took in every detail of your face while he thought about that night. You had told him you wouldn't be able to make it, and then surprised him right before the show. He could still remember the exact feeling of butterflies and happiness that had been in his stomach the entire time. After the show, you had walked around the streets of Columbus and wandered down to the river. It was the same night that he said "I love you" for the first time under the light of a streetlamp next to the water.

He locked his phone and stared up at the ceiling. His vision was clouded by tears, but he let them sit there. There was no point in trying to get the tears out of his eyes, it wouldn't be long before he began to cry again, anyway. A million questions were running through his mind as he laid there.

If you had really loved him, would you have tried harder to make things work? Should he have fought harder to make you stay? Would he ever have a second chance?

He knew there was a way for him to get the answers he needed. Your number was still saved in his phone, and you had even talked a few times since calling things off. You two had tried to maintain a friendship since you both still cared so deeply for one another, but the wound of the breakup being so fresh in your minds made it difficult. It had been a few weeks since the last time you talked, and even if he didn't get the answers he wanted, it might be nice to hear your voice again.

No. There was no way he could do that to himself. Not tonight. Just thinking about your voice made his stomach twist and his eyes squeeze shut. He could still hear all the things that you said to him so clearly and it made his chest tight. There was nothing in the world that he wouldn't give just to hear you say you loved him one more time. Maybe he would call tomorrow when his head was clear and he didn't have to worry about something as simple as you saying hello sending him into a spiral.

For now, he just needed to lay here and let himself dwell on the past for awhile.