Mum's The Word (Sequel To Just Say The Word)

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Mackenzie's POV

Adjusting was hard. Seriously, I don't know how Makayla did it. They released me from the hospital after two days of observation and an order to attend therapy twice a week. When I got home, my room was tarnished. She had made it her own.

I sighed. I was going to have to learn to accept that everything in my life had been touched by her and there was nothing I could do about it but embrace it. So I dedicated two hours to taking down her flowers, bringing my bookshelves back up to my room, and finding and replacing all my photos back onto my wall. I decided to leave her hanging lights because all things considered, they didn't look that bad. I even decided to leave my posters down.

Lance was on his way over. I still didn't know where we stood and it was confusing as ever. I loved him. He loved me. What was stopping him from just kissing me senseless in the middle of a conversation? Was it still Liam?

When the doorbell rung I pretty much ran to open the door. He looked handsome. He didn't even try he just had that thing. Maybe it was just me and my months sleeping hormones.

"Lance," I greeted.

He smiled and ruffled my hair. "Hey Mack." I frowned slightly. That was a very friendly move.

"Um, come on in." He followed me up to my room and visibly tried not to show any emotion. I sighed. "What is it?"

"It's like a mixture of the two of you. It's odd."

I nodded. I knew this already. It was kind of done purposely. She was a part of me now. "I know. I can't escape her influence anywhere so I might as well start embracing it."

He smiled at me. "My Mack's all grown up."

"Am I?" I asked as I crossed the room to plop down on my bed. "Still your Mack, I mean."

"Of course you are," he confirmed as he joined me and later down on my bed. "You'll always be my Mack," he whispered.

"Do you still love me? In a more than friends way, don't bullshit me."

He chuckled slightly but it morphed into a sigh. "Yes, I love you Mackenzie. In a more than friends way." Before he could say another word that could cause any damage to our little moment, I leaned over and kissed him with everything I had. He was surprised at first and the kiss was sloppily thought out, but within seconds his arms encircled around my waist and he was pulling me closer to him, closer. I had never kissed Liam like this. This was something else entirely. It was new, it was exciting, it was passion filled. It felt like at any moment he could rip my clothes off and I'd probably let him.

Then he pulled away. "Mackenzie what the hell?"

He hadn't pushed me off of him, just arched away from me, so I lay still on top of him, hands outstretched across his chest. "You kissed me back."

"Shit Mack, you can't just do that!"

He didn't want me like that anymore. I deserved it. I couldn't even be angry with him. "I'm sorry," I whispered, defeated. Then I untangled myself from him and returned to my respective side of the bed. "I'm really sorry."

I could feel him breathing hard. In. Out. In. Out. "Don't do that either," he whispered back to me. "Don't be sorry we kissed. Please."

My eyes had already began watering so I refused to look at him. "Well I don't know what you want me to do, okay? Shit." I furiously wiped at my eyes. Traitor tears.

And as much as I hated it, he turned to me, eyes piercing through everything I knew to be me. He wrapped my wrists tenderly in his hands, refusing to let me wipe away my tears. "Mack, you know it's not like that. Don't cry. It's just.." He sighed, closing his eyes for a brief moment. "What happens when she comes back? Huh? What am I supposed to do when she wants to date Liam and forgets all about me? Am I supposed to watch the girl I love parade around with some other guy when she's supposed to be mine? I can't do that Mack. I can't."

I attempted to use the both of our hands to wipe my tears to no avail. "But she's not me. It wouldn't be me with him."

He didn't have to say it. His eyes said it all. "You know what I mean, Mack. You know she's an extension of you."

How was that fair though? I couldn't date, couldn't love because she decided to make am appearance? How was I supposed to live? In her shadow? "This isn't fair! Something fucks up my mental health and brings some uppity bitch into my body and I have to suffer forever from it? I don't want to be fucked up, Lance. I just want to be normal. I want to be able to love you and have a relationship and be a teenager. I want to enjoy my senior year. How is this fair? Why am I going through this? I just want to be normal, Lancy." I couldn't stop the tears now. They were streaming down my face. I hadn't hat a chance to actually cry. I had been taking everything in stride to avoid this. I didn't want to break down. I didn't want to prove to everyone how psychotic I was. And now I had done it in front of Lance. "I'm sorry," I cried as he tried to pull me into his chest. "Just go home. I'm sorry."

But he was having none of that. "I'm your best friend, Mack. I'll always be your best friend. Let me do that. Please. Please let me be here for you."

I struggled against him, trying to separate our bodies. "You don't need to. Please go away. Please!"

But he stayed. He stayed and he forced me into him. He wouldn't let me break down alone. He held me to him, cradled me, tended to my feelings. It was things like this that made me love him. And I found myself hating me for feeling that way right now.

What's that up above? Oh you know, just a picture of Kellin fricken Quinn at the SWS/PTV World Tour Concert I went to on saturday. Be jealous. Be very jealous because it was amazing! Oh my God I had a blast.

Anywho....the next chapter is Mackenzie attempting to adjust to her new life at school. She's also reunited with her old friends and forced to face the "friends" who helped drive her to (attempted) suicide .