stripper killer [matty healy]

thirty - admiration

admiration:(noun) respect and warm approval.

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matty

i sat in my chair, rolling a cigarette through my fingers while my gaze burnt holes into indies back. she was leaning against the wall near the window watching the heavy snow fall; her hair was falling down over her shoulders because shed lost all the hair ties i'd given her. she didn't seem to mind that they were all ones collected from the dead.

she lets out a soft sigh, unaware i'm watching her. i can imagine she misses the feeling of fresh air, the cold on her skin, the sound of busy london traffic rushing by her. she'd been here for almost two weeks without setting foot outside once. i'd become obsessed with keeping her in. at first, mainly because i was scared of her handing me in... but now, i just don't want to lose her. i'd developed feelings for her that i wasn't even aware i was capable off. i had this like, admiration for her, you know? she'd been through so much with me... enough to send anyone crazy. yet, she was still functioning like a normal person. and even better, she liked me. shed mirrored my feelings and fallen for me too and that's something i will never understand.

i take another long drag from the cigarette that was rapidly burning down and lean my head back to exhale. the horrible pain in my chest was growing the longer she sat there. i couldn't bear to think i was the one keeping her cooped up in here. she had been so good to me. she deserved more than this. she was watching life go by, it was almost christmas and she was going to spend it locked in here with me. it wasn't fair.

"where are you going?" i hear her low voice as i'm getting my coat on. "can i come?"

i refrain from looking at her, knowing full well the look on her face would make me want to throw myself out the window. "no. stay here." i tell her sternly. "no funny business."
and with that i walk out and slam the door, making sure to lock it behind me.

-

india

"no. stay here." he looks at his shoes at he speaks. his voice sounded angry. what have i done? "no funny business." he adds, before leaving and slamming the door behind him. the sound of the lock clicking is all i can hear, followed by the sound of the stairs as he gets further away from me.

i let out a sigh and look around the empty apartment. every time i was alone here the walls seemed to get closer together, giving me less room to breathe. "just a few more days." i whisper to myself as i wrap my arms around my torso for comfort. matty said if i still wanted to go by then, he'd let me... and i know he'll keep his word.

-

i'm woken up to the sound of someone struggling. i don't even remember falling asleep.

once i've managed to come around, i jump up from the bed and rush into the living room, my heart beating rapidly in my chest, afraid of what i might see next.

however, all that comes into view is matty trying to carry a bunch of bags and boxes through the door.

"india." he struggles for breath dramatically. "grab one."

i rush toward him and take a bag and small box from his grasp, trying to look inside. "what is it?"

he doesn't answer, instead just gets it inside and drops it to the floor.

and that's when i see it.

in large letters printed across a long box. 'synthetic 8ft christmas tree.'

he sees me looking and his lips fold into a tight lined smile. "surprise."

it made no sense to me why he had been so dry before, and now come back baring... gifts? but either way, an excited laugh escapes me as i drop to the floor to look in the bags. "what's all this?" i ask, rummaging my hands through bundles of tinsel and decorations.

he laughs lightly as he watches me. i feel his hand grip my arm and pull me back to my feet. "i'm not going to let you miss christmas." he smiles, stroking my cheek.
"oh, this is my favourite thing i got you." he raises his finger, before reaching down into the bag and pulling out a large red jumper with a festive pattern printed all over the front.

it was ridiculously cheesy, but it reminded me of the things mum would make me wear when i was little, so i loved it. "put it on then." he nods, laughing at my expression again.

i quickly obey and throw it messily over my head and adjust it. it was massive.
"it's big." i announce, blowing hair of my face.

he erupts into laughter. "i'd let you have mine but that's going to be even bigger." he pulls another one out from the bag.

"wait..." i turn serious. "you got us matching jumpers?" my eyes fix on the jumper in his hands that was identical to mine.

he blushes slightly and runs his hands through his hair. "uh, yeah. is that bad?"

"no... i love it." i tilt my head to look at all of the things he'd brought back. "i love it all, thank you."

"you're welcome angel." he smiles tucking my hair on both sides behind my ears before planting a kiss on my nose. "now, let's get cracking on this tree."

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{authors note}

Wow matty is so fucked up; one minute he's killing bitches and the next he's getting all festive.

Sorry this chapter is really rushed an unedited. Yay for me being so good at updating recently, it's cos I love you all!! .x