My Inner Thoughts

"His Heart Reeked of Vodka" A Free Verse Poem

Ever since we broke up, I've imagined you briskly walking towards me

Kissing me

Saying that you miss me

Just so I can break up with you all over again

Ever since we broke up, I find myself replaying the beginning

Before I tell you swiftly

That we were never meant to be

Because I'm still addicted to how you made me feel

Because I'm not as strong as I think I am

Because the truth is

I don't think I'd let go of you again

If you gave me this second chance

This feels like an emotional step back from healing but

It's not a relapse if you never wanted to stop in the first place

It takes 10 hours for alcohol to leave a persons system

And it takes 5 detox days to rid themselves of an addiction

But being able to get to that point isn't the first step in recovery

I too deal with daily temptations

Reminders

Memory triggers

Unfortunately

On An average of 5 days a week

I get the absolute pleasure of seeing your face

As if getting over you wasn't hard enough

Now at 17 I'm experiencing what i assume to be

Mini heart attacks

Every day at 4th period

So tell me Stephen

How am I supposed to begin

My detoxification

If you have yet to leave my mind for a whole day

-

And After of month and a half of sadness

You somehow still know how to keep me begging

Ignoring me like you do

Just like how you used to

It's honestly almost as if I never even left you

I mean Nothing's really changed

Except for the fact that

You don't have to lie to me anymore

By saying I love you

--

I think I have a fetish

For unhealthy relationships

So many red flags practically blinding

That shit is like cocaine for me

It takes several weeks for cocaine to leave a persons body

And that's not including when the withdrawals begin happening

Within 24-72 hours

You'll begin to feel remorse and depression

But after a week