Since Nine Book 3: Shattered

Weakness

CHAPTER 14

RAMCEL

Ramcel regretted her actions. Nadala na naman sya ng galit nang malamang stranded silang dalawa ni Victoria sa Potipot Island. After angrily walking out on Vi, nanghiram sya ng cellphone kay Kuya Raffy at tinawagan si Jenny.

“Get me out of here. Now.” Ramcel said icily as soon as Jenny answered. Alam na ng kaibigan ang tono nyang iyon. “Bakit ba tinutulungan mo ang babaing yun sa mga kalokohan nya? Hindi ko sya babalikan kahit anong gawin nya.”

“From the way you are talking, inaakala mong si Vi ang may pakana nyan,” seryosong sagot ni Jenny. “It was my idea, Ram. Walang alam si Vi tungkol dito. I hope you didn’t lash out on her.” Hindi sya nakasagot at bumuntong- hininga naman ito. “You did,” disappointed nitong dugtong. “Ano bang nangyayari sayo? This is not the Ramcel that I used to know.”

“People change, Jenny.” Yun na lang ang nasabi nya. But Jenny was right. She used to be so logical. Kahit sa trabaho. Lagi syang may nasisigawang assistant o artista pero yan ay kung hindi nagagawa nang tama ang trabaho at paulit-ulit na ang pagkakamali. But with Victoria, nawawalan sya ng kontrol sa sarili. “Pwede bang balikan mo na kami dito? Please.”

“Okay,” Jenny said sighing.

Pakana ang lahat ni Jenny but she immediately assumed it was Vi’s idea. Binalikan nya ito kung saan ito iniwan kanina at naabutan nya itong umiiyak. Pinigilan nya ang sariling takbuhin ito at yakapin. Nais nya itong ikulong sa mga bisig at pawiin ang lungkot nito but she had to be firm. Hindi sya pwedeng magpadala sa nararamdaman nya para rito.

Ngunit hindi rin pwedeng maghari ang galit sa puso nya sa habang panahon. Oras na para harapin nya ito at kausapin. Lumapit sya rito at umupo rin sa bamboo bench.

Mahal pa rin nya si Victoria but she couldn’t get herself to trust her anymore. Gusto man nyang paniwalaan ang mga sinasabi nito pero ayaw na nyang umasa pa. She loved her for a long time and she was full of hope that being with Victoria for a lifetime was possible. But after she left her, she couldn’t get herself to believe in happiness anymore.

Ramcel told her what she really felt. She really did feel tired. She often wished to stop her heart beating for Victoria. Mas nagagalit sya sa sarili na hindi nya magawang tanggalin ang pag-ibig na nararamdaman nya para rito.

She wanted to get far away as possible from Victoria. Dahil baka hindi na nya mapigilan ang sarili at bumigay sya sa mga sinasabi nito. Weakness nya si Victoria. Baka umasa na naman sya at mabigong muli. Hindi na nya kakayanin yun kung nagkataon. She begged Victoria to let her go.

But why did she feel like another piece of her heart was torn when Victoria reluctantly agreed to let her go? Bakit may parte nang pagkatao nyang gustong maniwalang ayaw syang mawala ni Vi? That this time it would be different.

“Huwag kang magpapadala sa kanya,” she reminded herself. 

“Yan ba talaga ang gusto mo?” Her heart and mind asked but she ignored them.

Habang may lakas pa syang lumayo, Ramcel left Victoria after they talked. Umupo na lang sya sa isang stone bench na nalililiman ng isang puno at malungkot na pinagmasdan ang asul na dagat. Rinig ang tawanan at sigawan ng mga bakasyunistang naglalaro ng volleyball. Everyone around her was carefree. Sana sya rin.

She lost track of time. Namalayan na lang nyang palapit ang speed boat sa shoreline. Walang kibuan silang bumalik na tatlo sa island resort. Sadness was evident on Victoria’s face but she couldn’t bear looking at her. Sa ibang direksyon itinuon ni Ramcel ang pansin.