Lost in the Universe

xxv

This is kind of a short one... sorry:(

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"What have you got? Computer, laptop, anything?" The Doctor asked Martha as they stepped into her appartment. "Jack, what are you doing?" He asked upon realising that Jack had a phone to his ear. "You can't tell anyone that we're here."

"Just some friends of mine, but there's no reply," Jack told him as Martha handed the Doctor a laptop. Jack put his phone away and grabbed the laptop from the Doctor's hands, walking to Martha's desk. Only then the Doctor had realised that Nina hadn't said anything. He turned around and saw her sitting on Martha's sofa, her face blank.

"I can show you the Saxon websites," Jack said. The Doctor walked to the desk after him. "He's been around for ages."

"That's so weird though. It's the day after the election. That's only four days after I met you," Martha reasoned, pacing around the room. The Doctor turned around to face her.

"We've been flying all around the universe while he was here all the time," the Doctor said quietly, scratching the back of his neck.

"You two are gonna tell us who he is?" Martha asked the Doctor and Nina. The Doctor turned around to see Nina hadn't even reacted at Martha's question.

"He's a Time Lord," was how the Doctor responded. Although Nina hadn't reacted, she was fully aware of the conversation happening in the group, and was quite thankful that the Doctor hadn't just given up her secret.

"What about the rest of it?" Martha pushed him. "I mean, who would call themselves 'The Master?'"

"That's all you need to know," the Doctor scolded. Martha sighed, but kept quiet. She could see how she was going into sensitive territory.

Nina couldn't take this anymore. Don't get me wrong, she was great at internalizing her feelings, hiding her problems away. But this? She thought her brother was dead for centuries. Centuries. And now he comes back, is Prime Minister of Great Britain and obviously has an evil plan to take over the earth. Back in the day, the Master -- or Koschei, as he was known -- was a great person. He was kind, compassionate, and always took care of her. Yet, now, he was just... mad. Absolutely mad. For a second, Nina thought she was going ti be able to reunite herself with her brother, but that's not how the world works, is it? Never for her. The world has the nasty habit of giving Nina hope and then snatching it away like one does to a bandaid. She decided she wasn't going to take it anymore, so she just stood up and silently walked out of the apartment.

She turned the corner and ended up face to face with a balcony. She leaned over its railing and breathed the fresh air. She hadn't had fresh air in a long time. Something else she hadn't had in a long time? Sleep. Maybe that's all she needed. Just some sleep.

"Are you alright?" She heard a voice call from behind her. The Doctor walked up to her and leaned against the railing by her side. She looked at him deadpan.

"Peachy," she said, no emotion at all on her voice or her face. The Doctor shook his head, embarassed, scratching the back of his neck.

"No that's... I know you're not okay," he stated. "I meant physically," he corrected himself. "Are you okay physically?"

"I'm just tired," Nina said, laying over her amrs on the railings. The Doctor tilted his head, placing a hand on her back and rubing slow circles on it.

"Are you sure that's all it is?" He asked her. Nina sighed. He already knew she wasn't feeling too well. He just wanted to give her the chance to tell him herself.

"No," she admitted, her voice muffled by the sleeves of her shirt.

"That's okay. It's the effects of traveling through time without a TARDIS, being exposed to the vortex," he explained. "Even I can feel it, really."

A silence fell between them.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked after a few moments. Nina sighed. She did want to talk about it, but at the same time she didn't. She felt like if she started talking about it, she was going to start crying, and then she was never going to stop. The Doctor noticed her vulnerability and did the one thing that would push her over the edge.

He pulled her into a hug.

He held her tightly as, brick by brick, her walls came tumbling down. Her sobs punched through her skin, ripping her appart, pulling her to the ground. For several seconds, she was unable to speak, unable to breathe. But it only took her only a few more seconds to pull out from his embrace and turn away form him, wiping her tears away.

"I hate crying," she mumbled. The Doctor watched, his hearts breaking, as she tried to hide the fact that she wasn't a robot, that she had feelings, and those could be broken. She could be vulnerable sometimes. "I'm sorry, this is silly," she mumbled. The Doctor frowned, reaching her shoulders and turning her around. He stared at her green eyes surrounded by red, the tear trails on her face. Although she probably thought this was her at her absolute worse, the Doctor thought she looked astonishing.

"Please, don't hide from me," he practically begged her. "It's not silly, I get it. You thought you could finally bond with your long lost brother only to find out he's a bit of a lunatic," he recognized softly. Nina looked down at her feet as she felt another set of tears burning her eyes. She didn't want for him to see her cry. "It's not silly, I promise," he repeated, taking her face in his hands and forcing her to face him.

Before they could do anything else, Jack's face apepared on the balcony. When they noticed him, Nina immediately turned away form him, towrds the railings, and started to wipe her tears away.

"Guys, The Master is about to make an announcement on TV. Five minutes," he informed. The Doctor nodded.

"Thanks, Jack," the Doctor told him with a small smile. "We'll be there." The American nodded and walked away. The Doctor waited a few moments before he spoke again. "Are you alright?" He asked softly.

You know what the Doctor didn't expect, though? He didn't except for her to nod as confidently as she did. He didn't expect for her to turn around without any trace of her crying on her face. And he definitely did not expect for her to give him one of her widest fake smiles. He definitely wasn't ready for her to simply walk away back to Martha's appartment pretending she hadn't just cried her heart out, but it surely was enough to break his goddamn hearts in two.

He was left there, standing, alone with the knowlodge that Nina was a master at managing her emotions. The knowlodge that, on the outside she was smart, happy and smiley all the time, but on the inside, she was just a broken young girl who has lived too long, and who has been through way too much.