Substitute Alchemist - Bleach X FMA Crossover [HAITUS]

Chapter 19 - Saved

This chapter is dedicated to mysticaldragon2001! Happy reading!

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Kiana pov:

Scar was silent, hesitating. His fists were clenched tightly and a deep frown was etched onto his face. We had been sitting in silence for the past ten minutes, and I was waiting for Scar to break it in vain. I sighed inaudibly and reached out to him. I gently placed my hand on his arm, causing him to nearly jump out of his skin in surprise before he met my gaze. I gave him a small smile and then let go of his arm.

"Why are you hesitating, Scar? You know that I won't judge you for whatever decision you make...although I am hoping that you give up on your path of revenge for good," I said softly. "Tell me what's on your mind."

He looked away from me to gaze at the floor sharply again. He clenched his fists even more causing the veins on his arms to become more defined. He inhaled deeply once and spoke, "I...I can never be forgiven for the deeds that I have committed nor do I deserve your friendship or sympathy. What I have done is not only something looked down upon by everyone in the world but also a great sin in the eyes of Ishbala. I don't deserve anything but death."

We sat in silence for a few moments, each wrapped up in our own thoughts. While Scar was surely drowning in guilt and self-hate, I was thinking of possible ways to ease the torment he was going through. I looked away from him and at my hands on the pillow on my lap.

"Scar, did you know that feeling remorse is the strongest punishment for anyone's wrongdoings?" I asked, my voice soft but firm. "I agree that what you have done is wrong and you must feel terrible about it but it's human nature to make mistakes. Every person makes mistakes, perhaps of differing magnitude, and while some don't feel guilty about it, others do. Those who feel guilty suffer the worst punishment because most of it is mental and emotional."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that despite how you feel about what has happened and that you think you deserve to die for it, you can't take that decision. Death is easy for you, and will quell your pain in one go...but living the rest of your life aware of your wrongdoings, serving penance and promising to do good from now on until your last breath is the only way you can atone for you crimes," I explained. "Besides, you deserve a second chance."

He flinched at the last sentence that I said, his eyes going wide. "A second chance?"

"Yes. Everyone deserves a second chance...just as I did."

"Have you done something bad too? Something that you have not told anyone?" he pressed, seeming quite interested in my past now.

"I lost my parents when I was very young and harbored hurt and anger towards the creatures that killed them. After I recovered from the injuries I had suffered and was trained by the people I now consider as my family, there were many instances where I took out my anger on others and become violent and was just...so restless. My rage was close to making me a monster bent on revenge and, to be honest, I still feel angry and upset about what happened sometimes but...I'm glad for that phase not lasting for more than a few months thanks to Shinji and Hiyori who taught me that fueling my anger with violence was wrong. Instead, they told me to think of all the people I could protect with my power, even if it meant defeating more of those creatures...but I would do so with my emotions in check. I would not be blinded by my anger towards the one creature that killed my parents. Although, I suppose it's silly for me to be saying this because I didn't get involved in any fight – I always avoided them and ended up paying a price for the lack of training."

"I'm not sure if I understand all of what you said but the gist is clear, I suppose. But what creatures are you talking about? Are they the Homunculi?" Scar questioned.