Be With Me

Chapter 18

"What did you bring for dinner?"

"Fried chicken." She smiled.

"From Enzo's?" He asked and she nodded. "Let's eat then." He said getting up.

"Let me set the table." She said.

James began to help her setting the round table near the window. He looked relaxed and her heart rested a bit. Rafaela knew he'd tell all about it during dinner. When everything was ready, Rafaela put the chicken and the fries on the trays and took it to the table, finally they sat and even faster began to eat.

"How did it go?" She asked seeing he wasn't going to say it that easily.

"It was alright." He simply said.

"Just that?" She curled an eyebrow seeing him devouring a chicken wing.

"We talked..." He grabbed the napkin to clean his lips. "Well...he talked and I listened. He asked me to let him make things better for us. I am not sure...I am not convinced with anything he told me..."

Rafaela grabbed his hand. "What did you tell him?"

"I ended up agreeing with having him around. I don't know if I am doing the right thing..." James shook his head in disbelief. "I am still trying to process it my mind. He's done so wrong in his life and dragged my sister and I with him. Though she's in peace with him now, they get along well as far as I know, at least, he said so. You know I also don't talk to her."

"They're the only family you got babe..." Rafaela commented.

"That's not true..." He smiled at her. "I have you now."

"But I don't replace sister and father's love babe. These are two completely things."

"But you fill in the gap pretty good." His hand squeezed hers and she felt her heart warming up at his sweet words.

"How do you feel about all this?" Rafaela asked him intertwining her fingers in his. "You look cool..."

"I think I need to let him in to come to terms with my feelings you know. I rage a lot maybe I will rage less if I let him come close. I don't know if I will ever feel love for him, in a way I do, but that pure love a kid has for a father, I am not sure if I'll ever have that. I don't know if I'll ever forgive him. We ended up talking about things you know...I ended up laughing but something was missing. I don't know babe...I think there's something that will never come back because the hole he left in me will probably never be filled again. I can't just forget what he's done. Even when we were talking and laughing I caught myself wondering when he'd leave again..."

"I don't think he's leaving." She said.

James shrugged. "I don't know. How am I supposed to know that? How can I trust him?"

"Give it time. Of course things must be awkward now, but maybe with time things will get better."

"I am used not to have him around Rafi, it feels weird to have him around." James confessed. Rafaela ran a hand over his face and smiled, she knew what he meant and couldn't be anything but sympathetic.

"But... at least did he say he was sorry?" She asked.

James nodded. "But it's so late to be sorry..."

"Like I said...you have to give it time and you have to forgive him. Only like that you will be able to let go."

"Where have you been, I had been home for a while?" James asked changing the subject.

"I went to see the gang."

"Did they ask for me?"

"Of course." Rafaela nodded.