Anthology of the Dark

Forgive Me Father for I Have Sinned

Disclaimer: The following character names are changed to protect their identities. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. The act of abortion in the Philippines has been a taboo topic, it involves the mother, the child and the beliefs of the church. I am in no way here to discriminate or hurt anyone. And I am not commenting on anything about any belief or religious groups my dear readers belong to.

 This is a work of fiction.

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Thank you for reading Anthology of the Dark.
Get cozy. And let us begin.

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   It has been two weeks since my last confession. God created everything, right? It said so in the Bible, he created all. So if he created all, does it also mean he created the sinners? You say that he forgives sinners, right? If they repent? Well, you say that people like me who has gravely sinned will also be forgiven? For I am also his child? Tell me father... Did God ever thought about why he made me the way I am? Do you think He can ever forgive a child born of blood and monstrosity?

   Tell me. You see father, my sins are just like everyone's... I have killed numerous people in this lifetime. Some deserved it, most did not. I kill because I had to. I kill to live. But make no mistake father, it has always plagued me every day, the crimes I commit some nights. Last week Father, I committed the sixth. Without hesitation Father. I felt nothing but hunger for blood. She didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve her. But most of all, she didn't deserve what I had done to her. But I couldn't help it, father. It had to be done. I was thinking If I hadn't done it, what would've become of her? It's better I saved her from this wretched life.

   You see, she sat there. I could tell she was thinking about it, the bottle in her hand and she looked out of her window. She reeked of it. The scent of an unwanted motherhood. I can tell, her eyes betrayed her, she kept telling these people that she loved her but she didn't. She just wanted to be rid of her. She stood there and wondered without remorse. I waited for her. I waited before I strike. You see father, I had no choice. I didn't want to live like this, I was born with this. You told me God made everything, yes? So tell me, if God had also planned for me to be like this? He gave me this! She drifted off father, she finally fell asleep. She fell asleep despite her family talking and walking around the house. They thought they are protecting her from the likes of me. Ha! The real enemy, the real monster is the one sleeping on the bed! She wanted to kill it! She's decided to kill her!

   So I did, what I do best, Father. I became the monster they all feared that I am. She didn't want her, no, she wanted to kill her so she could be free. She thought of her as a sin. A sin! She didn't do anything.... She just wanted to be loved. But no, she can't do anything. She couldn't do anything. Now, I did what I do best. I wanted to save her from this wretched life. And so, in the middle of the night, I went to her roof, and I took out my weapon... A weapon that killed numerous people already. God gave me this for a reason.

   If it were up to me, I wouldn't have killed her. Trust me, I didn't want to.

   I condemn myself for even liking every moment of it. The rush of blood as it pumps through and the flesh that touched my being. I did say I was sorry, father. I finally did it, I finished the task, the job. She didn't want her. So I took her away from this Earth. It's better this way, she would've ruined her if she were ever born.

   The next day they all awake to see her bloodied chambers. She deserved it. But her babe, did not.

   They called me a monster, but she never wanted her in the first place, in fact, she would've drank the bottle to purge her out of her body and be rid of her forever. The poor baby. But no, I had to do what I do. I had to use my gift. See Father, I am not the monster here.

   So again, forgive me Father for I have sinned, it has been two weeks since my last confession. God created everything, right? It said so in the Bible, he created all. So if he created all, does it also mean he created the sinners? You say that he forgives sinners, right? If they repent? Well, you say that people like me who have gravely sinned will also be forgiven? For I am also his child?

   So tell me Father, look at me, look into my eyes, look past my bloody eyes, my long and cold fingers, and my demonic wings, and of course this tongue... This God forsaken tongue of mine, tell me Father what was God thinking when he created me? Tell me Father if he could ever forgive a sinner who saved the innocent, the unborn from people who did not want them. Tell me father...

   Would God ever forgive an aswang?