Finding Happiness

Chapter 11-- The story of my life

Jane's P.O.V

"I'll tell you," I said to Liam and he signed.

"Louis was our younger brother. He loved to hang out with my sister and me. He wanted nothing more than to be around us. He was smart, funny, and so adorable. At such a young age, he loved to fix things. He recorded everything he saw with the camera our mom bought him. My sister was already in high school. She was fifteen then, I was thirteen, and Louis was nine years old. Louis and I attended the same elementary school. On a Wednesday, August 12, 2003, a few days before Louis's 10th birthday. I remember that day like it happened yesterday. It was after school, and one of my friends wanted me to follow her to talk to a boy she liked. So I told Louis to wait for me in the playground because I didn't want him in our business, so I asked him to stay and he did. He did." I paused for a moment. I let out a couple of deep breaths.

"After she was done talking to the boy, she left through the main entrance of the school, so I went back to the playground to take Louis home. When I got there... I... I saw Louis... laying on the floor... in a pool of blood," I stopped to close my eyes. I gripped the bed, hoping it could soak in some of the pain. I opened my eyes again when I was ready.

"I rushed to him, and I tried to wake him up, screaming his name. I saw all the cuts. He was stabbed not just once not twice but a lot. I was in shock I didn't know what to do or who to call, the playground was far from the school building, and there was no one in the playground. I screamed for help, but no one heard me. Liam, I screamed till my voice was gone. No one came, not until some minutes later, one of my teachers saw me and ran towards me. He called the cops and my family. The next thing I knew, the police and ambulance came and took Louis, and I followed them," I tried to control my breath by taking a moment to focus on my breathing.

"My mom, sister, and grandparents got to the hospital as fast as they could. They asked me what happened, but I couldn't talk. I tried to, but I couldn't, Liam. I couldn't move my mouth. The doctor walked towards us and announced he was dead. When I heard that something just went off in me. I can't explain it. It was like my world collapsed, I just blanked out. I blamed myself for his death every day. Everyone asked me what exactly happened. I tried to talk but I couldn't. I couldn't form any words. I could have saved him, Liam. I could have saved him," I had to stop.

Liam placed his hand on my back and started caressing.

"It's not your fault, Jane." He said, consoling me. I couldn't look at him. I didn't want to see the pity on his face.

"It's okay if you want to stop," He said in a worried tone.

"The police did their investigation, and they arrested the man behind it. He kept claiming he was mentally unstable. They got the evidence to charge him. He confessed but kept saying Louis was just a target of opportunity. How can someone be so cruel to such an innocent boy?" I shook my head. It still baffles me.

"I can't stop blaming myself. I told him to stay there. His birthday was the next day. He wasn't even ten yet. How could I do that to him? He was my responsibility, and I just left him there. I remember my mom's health deteriorated, especially her mental health. She was so shocked about his death. I remember hearing my sister cry every day because of Louis, and because I couldn't talk. I became mute. I was taken to the hospital, but the doctor said it was trauma. Everyone was affected by the incident. My family was never the same again," I closed my eyes and kept quiet for a minute.

"Mom was admitted to the hospital. We had to live with our grandparents. Things I wanted to say, I wrote them down on a piece of paper and gave it to whoever I wanted to talk to. Two months later my mom was discharged, and we moved home. Every day my mom and my sister would beg me to talk, but I just couldn't talk for another three months. On a Sunday morning, I woke up screaming Louis' name. I remember my mom and my sister rushing into my room. I called out their names when I saw them. It was like a miracle to them. I had to start learning how to pronounce some words again, but within a few months, I was finally able to have conversations," Liam offered me another tissue.