Bon Appetit [ Kim Seokjin FF ]

16♟ Someday... Somday is too early♟

It's now two days that Jin isnt waking up but at least his heart is beating again. It calming me also scaring. Not awer of how he will react once he will know what he now is, I'm afraid he might hate me what I will understand. In whole I feel bad about anything. I cant do a thing as only be in his room and watching him laying there.

Fee times at day I will wash him and talk to him, mostly apologizing. I never wanted the things to turn out like this. Never. To me, better I will suffer instead of him. Let me take all the bullets that life has prepared but spare him. I know it's too late for all the words of sorry and regret, still I want him to know that I'm really am.

Feeling my myself how weak I am, and how the Demon is calling to be feed, I manage to fight it and dont give in. I try it thats and sometimes it feels like any minute it will take over me again.

The promise to protect Jin and dont let it harm him anymore, is kind of helping me. Since its weak, I guess that's why I can fight it easier. But like this is also my straight leaving me. The fights are tiring and worth it few drops of energy, I keep on going. Now, I'm torturing it. The Demon hired Jin and i hurt it. That's how the things are going now and will continue as long I only can.

Mr. Hendricks went with my order to bring me new books about mythical creatures, especially Succubus. Maybe I missed there something what will maybe help me to fight it, although I'm pretty sure I have read all the books about.

Still a little sparkle of hope is there that I might have missed something. Something what can be really important.
Also now I have to gather informations to bring Jin further with his state. I have to take care of him, and if he will let me, be by his side like a guide and protect him.

Again sitting there on the matress by the side of Jin and holding his hand, a knock echoes into the silence cutting the train of thoughts in my head." Come in." I say not looking away from Jin." Young Miss. I brought some water for you and what to eat." The butler says while his steps sounds on the wood when he nears me.

"I don't want to, take it with and let me alone." The words come almost whispering out. There is no energy in within me what makes me feel like I'm dying slowly. Even to do the smallest move is already hard for me.

The Butler sighs out loud before he leaves the room. The demon is weak, I know it. The straight to take over will never be enough at the moment. It feels good to know that at least under this condition I can controll it and have it in place.

But also I'm aware of that im struggling too. That because of this act I have myself in danger. The moment will come and it will try to fight me again. It will become stronger and angrier. Full of hate it can harm everyone who's around me.

And even if, like the Demon in within so do I and gather all the straight together. Determined like never before, I will fight it and do the best to win it. The ending is not written for the two of us, neither me or the Demon knows how eveything will end up.

While stroking Jins soft and Luke warm hand, I'm getting lost in the train of thoughts. More like a fantasy that hit in my mind. The question what if we would have meet rach other under different conditions, makes me want to try many ways out.

The funny thing is, no matter what kind of first meeting it would be, I always imagine myself smiling bringt and sincerely. There is this feeling about all this, that I would be really happy if the fate wouldn't have played me so bad.

Everything could be been better as now, everything. And each fantasy, every thought about end up being happy together. A life like in those fairytales where everyone life happily ever after.