Bon Appetit [ Kim Seokjin FF ]

7♟ Struggles of Emotion♟

Y/N POV

It's hard to stay away from someone who's your heart yearning for. Jin is a kind man that was able to take over my cold heart really quickly. He was the first one who's so kind to me after what I turned to. The demon that i am. It hurts a lot to listen to my mothers words, to see her hate towards me, and then the fear.

Throughout the past two years, I haven't felt such a comfort like with Jin. Although I'm being really cold towards him, he still would find a way to approach me. Honestly I don't know how long he will make it to be this nice to me, or why he's doing it, but when I think about that it's better for me to stay away from him, my heart would only ache badly.

But I'm afraid. What if I will harm him? What if he will find out what I am, find out what's my secret is. What than? There's no way he will stay that nice to me. Jin will be afraid of me and hate like the others do and always have done.

I'm a scum for all people who does know my secret, Somtimes I feel the same towards myself too when I watch inti the mirror, when the darkness and sadness gets the best of me. Should I just enjoy his presence and care until the D-day? Should i? I want so many things to do with him, so many things to experience, to feel and hear. I want to walk by his side, let him deeper into my heart and stay there but I know I can't.

My Mother is right. When the day will reach he will regret ever have protected me. He will and I know it. Who wants a Demon by his side? Who wants a beast as a lover? No one right? But then if I think about that's Jin would have been on my place, I wouldn't have pushed him away but loved as much as I do now.

But that's only a thought, a Fantasy.

The whole ride back home, I avoided his eyes or the gentle touches. It may be that I was acting rude, but i couldn't have take any more of the warmth that literally burned on my skin when he would've touched my hand.

All the encourageing words what he has told me melted my heart but my expression remind its place on my face. Blank.  Jin sighned deeply out and looked aside being obviously done with me.

"You can talk to me when you feel like it. But to push me away won't help you at all... I'm not going to give up." My heart skipped a beat when he stated this. This Man, he didn't know what he was causing to my heart. What he made me feel like and how hard it is to hold back.

However, I haven't said anything back and honestly I didn't know what i should tell him."But promise me one thing. Don't belive in those words what your Mother has told you. Because to me you're a really good and nice Girl, Y/N." Once again his hand touches mine that's laying on my lap.

I just let him. Just one time.
After some time we arrived at Home and the driver went to open my door but I did it already by myself." Thank you." I tell the driver and head towards the entrance." Wait." Jin calls causing me to turn around to him. He fast bowed to the driver and told him his goodbyes before running up to me.

He was standing so close to me that it was easy to breath his scent in. The sweet scent of his cologne. I love it. I love everything about him." Yes?" I crack my hip aside and cross my arms infront of my chest. To act as nothing was bothering me or affected me, was Always quite easy for me.

It pushed everyone away, made everyone don't want to approach me or even talk, but in Jin it hasn't worked at all. "Uh... Let's meet up in 10 minutes. Will it be enough for you to change in comfertable clothes?" His eyes were shining unter the moonlight. His eyes were the stars that would shone me the way to the happines what I reject to take.