AN ANATOMY OF A WOUNDED SOUL

. 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 .

I warned her about his intentions many times, but she told me don't worry Lyssa, he is harmless. I rolled my eyes and walked out.

Then, I woke up four years later, on a bed - IV's attached to my hand. It took me more than five minutes to finally adjust to the light that came from the window. It was like waking up after a long night of sleep on concrete because my back hurt like hell. I could feel the sound of a heart monitor, with every rise and fall on my beat. Everything for a second was a blur. My head ached, a pain in my heart that went down on my hand, I could feel my whole body burning.

That was when I realized, something was wrong with me, I was on the hospital bed, I was the patient.

Fast forward to three months later, here I am, in my room, still wondering what happened with me that night, which led me on the hospital bed, with the doctor declaring that I had my bones of the arm and leg fractured, my ribs were broken and I had stitches on my forehead. Now here I am, my fractured arm and leg healed, the stitches on the forehead were taken off, but there is still a scar, as fresh as it was that day when I woke up on the hospital bed. My ribs still hurt me, but apart from that, I'm doing fine, physically.

But what do we do with the mental and emotional trauma that follows with the physical pain? How do we heal from that kind of pain? The doctors said, my heart was perfectly fine, but I could feel pain in my chest, every other day.

Closing my journal, I tried to take some rest. It is useless to even open the journal, I am unable to write a single word. Nothing came out of my head or my heart. I feel empty, just like any other night from the last three months. So why is this night different?

Tomorrow is going to be a fresh start in my new life. I'm going back to school after the accident. It's the first time, I'll officially be around people, unknown to me, strangers in my life. From tomorrow, everything changes, because I'll have to cope up with this new life, a new me.

***

Motivated.
Enthusiast.
Positive.

Landon asked me to stay motivated, be positive and enthusiastic about my first day back to school. Motivated and Positive, do these words ever match with school?

I'm a hundred per cent sure, I never liked going to school. Aurora on the other hand was crazy about going to school. She was the only girl in the whole world, who was so motivated to go to school, only because she got to be with her crazy ass friends. Why would she not love school? She practically held the title of being the queen of the school, only because she was superior. Everybody loved her back in school. She was worshipped for being the beautiful soul with an angelic face. Yes, she was that girl, everyone was in love with.

"Landon?" I called my brother. He turned his gaze at me as he helped me walk downstairs. He knew I could walk on my own, now that I'm all right, but he took extra precautions.

You're still weak, Lyssa. He says.

"Did I ever qualify to be on the throne of Aurora?" I asked. I feel him tense up on the mention of her name. I don't understand, it's like everyone in the house has practically forgotten her. Every time I mention her name, they go numb.

"What throne?" He asked, his hand still on my arm, supporting me to the dining table. "The throne of goddess of kindness," I stated. "She claimed to be the goddess, everyone worshipped back in school. Did I ever live up to the expectations? Do people see me like her?"