UnOrdinary: What if?

Chapter #58 John

My day was going great so far.

I've apologized to two people, and somewhat got them on my side. Or rather, got them to think of me on decent terms, I hope.

And yet, here I am, facing the one who probably deserves the biggest apology of them all, or a hard slap on the face. If I wasn't so indecisive, I would've done either of the two already. But since I didn't want to commit to violence just yet, and because I've already apologized two times today, I was contemplating my options.

Y'know what? Let's just get this over with.

"I'm sorry," I felt the words leave my lips, and I tried adding the sincerity that I had used with both Blyke and Remi. It was hard too, because the girl who stood there had put me through so much pain.

It's not like we can pretend that you haven't cause her any pain.

She looked shocked, and I couldn't hardly imagine how much confusion she was in at the moment. Just a few hours ago, I had straight out attacked her, and now I was apologizing? It was odd to say the least, but after my conversation with Flint, my intentions were clear.

I want to move on.

I reached out my hand, towards Claire. "I know that my actions... were horrible, and that you must be really confused, but please." I saw her narrow her eyes at my hand. "Let's leave the past behind us."

She took a deep breath in, staring up at my eyes. I saw something I haven't seen in a while, a courageous look. I couldn't remember the last time I hadn't seen that look on her face.

It quickly turned to anger.

"M-move on?!" Her voice was squeaky, and she clenched both hands to fists. "After what... what y-you did?!"

I took my hand back, shocked. "What do you mean what I did?" It was my turn to get angry, and I took a step forward, towering over her. "Last I remember, you were the one who betrayed me, the one who got everyone against me and attack me!"

"Have you even ever took a look at why I did it?! I never voluntarily wanted to hurt you John, I cared for you." I could see tears start to build up in her eyes, "But you abused your power! You weren't the John I knew, you weren't the John I cared for, you weren't the John I helped!"

I stood frozen, trying to process the words in my head. "What do you mean I wasn't the John you knew? You could've at least tried to tell me that to my face, back then, instead of attacking me!"

"You think I didn't try?!"

My mind couldn't think of anything to counter that, because I could fairly remember Claire saying those exact things, begging me to stop the violence.

After a while, I heard her mutter the words, "And not only that... you terrorized us afterwards... we were afraid to leave school grounds, or even walk back home in fear that you would attack us..."

I was speechless, and a pang of guilt pushed against my chest. Had I truly been that cruel?

"I..." I squeezed my eyes shut, and I couldn't think of any words to say. "I'm so sorry..." the sincerity was more than I had used with either Remi or Blyke, and I knew that it still wouldn't be enough.

"Yeah," Claire let out a sneer, "After everything, I doubt you actually even mean it."

I felt my eyes start to sting, and my breathing became almost laboured, just to the point where I started to feel faint.

Her eyes narrowed at my reaction, and I could see a flicker of worry in her eyes, although she quickly turned around, knocking on the classroom door. I took that as my sigh to leave, and I began walking in the opposite direction that I had been headed.