Golden Era (Book 2)

22. Off Road

Ayuna's immediate response was to laugh: it was the greatest joke Ryoma ever told.

Then she noticed that he wasn't laughing along. He was upright and still, his dark hair now soaked by the rain. When their eyes met, her laughs were caught in her throat. 

In that instant, a million forms of regret pulsed through Ryoma even though there was no way to retract words. Between layers of remorse, however, there was also relief: after three long years, he was finally able to say it.

When this feeling started, he couldn't remember anymore. Sometimes before the regional tournaments in freshman year, he supposed. He started to look forward to intercepting her in the cherry blossom grove. He started to search for her face in the spectators' area. Her poise remained even when emotions in the crowds oscillated between extreme highs and lows. He could count on her to step in at the right time with the right type of support.

Back then, Ryoma tried to convince himself that he was fine being just a friend. He pretended not to care about Fuji sweeping in and taking her away. When she suddenly disappeared three years ago, Ryoma thought these feelings would die: time always did a good job at eroding undeclared feelings. From then on, he pursued tennis aggressively and focused on victories. 

He believed he'd forgotten. Except, yesterday afternoon revealed that all he did was fooling himself. 

Standing before her amidst the silent mountain ranges, his forgotten years were re-emerged. His suppressed feelings and words started to take a life of their own. "What I really wanted to say is that I don't want you going back to anyone else. I want you to be with me. Always did. Still do."

"Why are you choosing now to tell me?" Ayuna choked out.

"Because I can't let you get away without some answers."

"Answers?"

"I need to know what we are," he said, motioning at the space that separated them. "Why did you bother approaching me on our first day at Seigaku? Why did you keep talking to me even though I was rude as hell?"

"I—"

"Please don't say you were just trying to make a new friend," he cut her off. "That was three years ago, back when we didn't know each other better. I need to know why you bothered showing up to my games again and again." His gaze grew darker here, "Did you care about me, or did you only come to those games because of Fuji Shuusuke?"

Ayuna shook her head. "Fuji isn't the only reason."

"See, there it is—that answer of yours that doesn't fit with the rest of the picture," Ryoma pointed out. "Does this mean you also came to those games for me? If you did, then..." His voice caught here. He didn't need to fill in the rest and he couldn't.

Wind had picked up, rippling through the verdant valleys of northern Kyoto. Clouds overhead thickened. Dark and ominous, they congregated at the silver horizon, unleashing a flash of lightning here and there. Strangely, claps of thunder never came. Imminently arriving was the torrential rain pouring in streaks. 

Drenched through their clothes, neither one of them made a move towards shelter. Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, Ryoma fought to keep his vision clear. He took a few steps until he was standing right in front of Ayuna.

"Tell me," he said, rain dripping from his hair, "what am I to you?"

"You're a dear friend to me, always have been," she answered definitively. "Call it a hunch—an intuition, maybe. I wanted to know you the minute I saw you on that morning train. The way you spoke and carried yourself was so different. I liked how you were so sure of your abilities then went on to prove them. I liked how you were confident for good reason. With anyone else, it would've come off as conceited, but with you, it just made sense."