Raised by Hobbits

Chapter Three~Burglars?

"He is here." says Gandalf. 

They open the door, and there stands Thorin. He enters Bag End. 

"Gandalf. I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice. Wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door." he says. 

"Mark? There's no mark on that door. It was painted a week ago!" shouts Bilbo. 

"There is a mark; I put it there myself. Bilbo and Ash Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield." says Gandalf.  

"So, this is the Hobbit and Human. Tell me, Baggins, have you done much fighting?" ask Thorin. 

"Pardon?" Ask Bilbo. 

"Axe or sword? What's your weapon of choice?" 

"Well, I have some skill at Conkers, if you must know, but I fail to see why that's relevant." Says Bilbo, Thorin looks to Ash.

He was first off drawn to her eyes.

 "I would love to learn with a sword or bow." She says, snapping him out of his daze.

"Thought as much. they look more like a grocers than a burglars." says Thorin. 

The dwarves all laugh, and they walk back to the dining table. As Thorin eats, the rest of them talk to him. 

"What news from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they all come?" ask Balin "Aye. Envoys from all seven kingdoms." says Thorin, the dwarves murmur their joy. "What do the dwarves of the Iron Hills say? Is Dain with us?" ask Dwalin "They will not come." says Thorin. 

The dwarves murmur in disappointment. "They say this quest is ours, and ours alone." finishes Thorin, further disappointed murmurs. 

"You're going on a quest?" ask Ash "Ash, my dear, let us have a little more light." says Gandalf, Bilbo brings a candle to the table, where Gandalf has spread out a map which was in his pocket. "Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak." says Gandalf. 

"The Lonely Mountain." says Bilbo reading the map "Aye. Oin has read the portents, and the portents say it is time." Says Golin "Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain as it was foretold: When the birds of yore return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end." Says Oin, Bilbo and Ash, hearing "the beast," look concerned. 

"Uh, What beast?" ask Bilbo "Well that would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age. Airborne firebreather, teeth like razors, claws like meathooks, extremely fond of precious metals" says Bofur. 

"Yes, we know what a dragon is." says Ash "I'm not afraid! I'm up for it. I'll give him a taste of the Dwarvish iron right up his jacksie." says Ori, several dwarves shout. "Sit down!" 

"The task would be difficult enough with an army behind us. But we number just thirteen, and not thirteen of the best, nor brightest." says Balin, the dwarves start objecting, saying things like, "Hey, who are you calling dim?" "Watch it!", and "No!" "We may be few in number, but we're fighters, all of us, to the last dwarf!" says Fili "And you forget, we have a wizard in our company. Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time." says Kili. 

"Oh, well, now, uh, I-I-I wouldn't say that, I- -" starts Gandalf "How many, then?" ask Dori "Uh, what?" ask Gandalf "Well, how many dragons have you killed? Go on, give us a number!" says Dori. 

Gandalf embarrassedly starts coughing on his pipe smoke; the dwarves jump to their feet, arguing about the number of dragons Gandalf has killed. Thorin jumps up in anger and bellows, silencing the rest.