word count:
‣ 1482
warnings:
↳ MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, DEPRESSION, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, and fluff at the end bc this shit kinda hurt :)
summary: ❝ millie always thought she was better off dead, but her plan to end it all runs off track when a comforting curly haired boy enters her life ❞
a/n: this was requested by @adorereddie ! i hope u like it :)
for all those who ever felt unwanted.
believe me, u are important.
✧✧✧
The small and fragile frame of Millie's body laid upon the thick blankets of her small bed. Her body was stiff, the only movement being the slow and steady rise and fall of her chest as she let out small breaths. The moon had painted its white path across her face, it's bright face peeking through her window.
Tears glimmered in her soft brown eyes, as her heart seemed to be beating at a rate that was almost as quick as the speed of light.
Thoughts were running through her mind continuously, working in a panicked flow. Millie had been in a deeper state of depression than her usual days.
Things she usually was over the moon for had dimmed in her life- along with the dimness of her eyes. She lost her bubbly personality, and often couldn't even find it in herself to fake it. She had recently taken to covering every mirror that was in her room to avoid looking at what she had become. The bags under her eyes could have held groceries in them, and were as purple as the twilights that she spent shedding tears. Her heart had constantly aches, but soon she began feeling as if there wasn't a heart in her.
She was just numb.
She cut herself sometimes, just to try to make sure she could feel something. Three times on her wrist to her remind her that her arms weren't as perfect as she wanted them to be. Twice on her thighs to remind her that she wasn't the host of a perfect body she wished for. Finally, once across the bottom of her stomach to remind her that that she didn't need to eat as much as she thought.
It hurt, fuck, it hurt so much. But she needed to know she could feel something.
It was on one particularly stormy night (which only seemed to reflect her mood) that she reached the conclusion that if she were to end it all... no one would miss her.
Her mind was set on the fact, and so she came to form a plan that she would follow by the steps when morning rose.
So she slept, dread but also a chance of relief bubbling in her stomach.
✧✧✧
The morning sun rose from its hiding place, and was now twinkling against Millie's face. The shrill cry of her alarm clock jolts her out of the bed she slept in. She slipped out of bed, and quickly changed and prepared to make the moderate drive to the weapon shop.
Wolfhard's Weapons. Make sure you're defended! Lowest prices in town!
She had seen the posters hanging around a while ago, but brushed them off because they didn't concern her. Never in her past innocent life did she think she would be doing this.
The drive is near silent, the only sound being the quiet hum of the radio. Though she wanted to be alone with her thoughts, Millie couldn't cope well without some sort of music or sound dancing in her ears.
The dark brick building soon came into her line of vision, the sunlight feebly attempting to brighten the deep brick color. The windows were reflecting the sunlight outwardly.
