Finding Him

Chapter Fifteen

~Nikki~

I knew he was right, even as I was leaving I knew he was right, but my pride made me walk out that door and say goodbye like I meant it. The thing was, however, that I didn't mean it. I was too deep into Dex now that I couldn't stop.

My fingers typed Allison's phone number. I deftly explain to her what happened; all I could feel was that pull back. Go back, Nikki! Tell him that it's him, that it has always been him! I wanted so badly to run through that front door, down to the basement and throw my arms around him because I just found him and now I pushed him away. He said he'd always come back to me, and I'd promised the same. Could we keep a promise like that? Especially, when I, being my stupid, emotionally damaged self, am being totally unreasonable.

Allison sighs on the phone. I forgot I was still talking to her. "Nix, we need to figure out what your doing. No offense, but your treating them like toys." She says bluntly. I nod even though she can't see me. I know Allison, her mood can change at the drop of a hat; she can be stuck-up and bratty, and she can be sweet as sugar, but one thing that never changes, that is 100% Allison is that she is honest, and she cares about what's best for you. That's why she's my best friend. I know that no matter what mood, what's pissing her off or what romantic thing Mike did that she's gushing over, she will always consider what I'm saying carefully and tell me what needs to be said.

"I know," I say. She blows a stream of air out over the line and I can just see her puffed cheeks and the hand she has twined into her hair.

"At least you know. I'll be there in second. Nikki, you need a car. I drive you everywhere," she says.

I laugh weakly, "Yeah, I do."

Hanging up, I walk out to the road. Squinting in the rain, I walk to the end of the street and lean against the cold, wet street sign. I'm not going to wait in front of Dex's house; no way.

It's funny actually; how quickly things can change. Just think, I was reunited with Dex no more then two weeks ago. Already, I liked Dex, and could feel myself falling for him again. I was broken up with Will. Miraculously and thankfully, I had drowned and come back to life. Oh, and let's not forget my mother's hatred for me and reached an all-time high.

A shudder runs through me and I wrap my arms around myself to shield the cold. Except it wasn't the cold; it was fear. I was scared for the future, and that's something I've never been afraid of. It was one of the few things I actually wholeheartedly embraced. This was because I knew that in the future I would be free of my mother, I would have my great friends to support me, and my strong romance with Will would carry into my forever, because I thought that love was always enough, that it persevered through all. It doesn't, and now I know this. Now, in the present, I have Dex and Will and my mother all jumping down my throat, even though to some extent I rightfully deserve it, and I'm so confused; causing the future to seem dim and uncertain. Then again, I guess it always is. Maybe before it just seemed easier to handle, but now my little neat and tidy life is being ripped off its hinges and I have no idea what to do.

I missed my daddy. He would know what to do, he always did. I needed to visit him maybe it would clear my head. Mom had a memorial made of his grave so we didn't have to drive to Wisconsin just to "visit" him.

Allison's car pulls up and skids to a stop, spraying my ankles with muddy water. Not caring, I shake off the water droplets and climb onto the passenger seat.

"Nikki!" Allison screeches in my ear. I jump and the seat belt I was trying to fasten is sucked back to its place above my shoulder.

"What?!" I yell mimicking her tone.

She flinches and responds, "Sorry, I was just going to say that I would've driven faster if I knew you were out here in short shorts and a shirt. Oh, it's um... see through." She points at the white shirt sticking to my pink bra. I blush and cross my arms over my chest.