Finding Him

Chapter Four

~Nikki~

I crush my lips hard against Will's amidst all the commotion, resisting the urge to wrap my legs around his waist. I hear Shawn and Allison chirping in the background, and a strange deep voice rising from the back of the table, but all I can hear is the heavy breath of Will as he gasps for air between contact.

The strange voice gets louder, demanding I hear it. I break the kiss, and slide my hand down Will's solid chest, panting heavily.

"You are nasty, Nix, " giggles Shawn, turning to an adoring Dylan as he laughs at her innocence. Shawn was a smart, cheerful person. If you were able to get Shawn depressed, you would have the full wrath of Dylan coming down on you. He was extremely protective of Shawn, he watched her like a hawk, and they were rarely seen apart. In fact, the only time I have ever seen Shawn and Dylan apart was when he broke his arm playing football, and his parents didn't have enough room in their car to take Shawn to the hospital with them. I couldn't wait to see them get married.

Allison laughs lightly, sitting on Mike's lap, "Shawn, don't act like you don't do that with Dylan!"

I laugh along with Will and Allison; even though Shawn was as innocent as a newborn outwardly, she and Dylan could be really nasty. Shawn blushes a deep crimson and hides her face in Dylan's shirt, and he leans his head on top of hers.

Dylan smiles into the top of her head, and then looks back to us. Dylan is attractive, with light brown hair, flecked with gold and soft blue eyes. He is also on the football team, like every guy in our group, but he isn't nearly as passionate about it. Shawn is his life, and everyone can see it.

I turn to Will, and wonder if he is my life. Will was a big part of my life, that's for sure, and he was the only guy I had told I loved. I would miss him horribly if he was gone, and I would bawl my eyes out if he died, but Will was not my life. If Will was gone, I would miss him, but the world would continue. People would still go to work, and the sea would still thrash; with or without Will.

Shawn had a severe allergic reaction to something at one of the football games last year, and she just about died. Dylan was inconsolable for the time she was gasping for air. He demanded that he hold her, and wouldn't let anyone near her. The doctor had to rip Shawn from Dylan's arms just to get her treatment, and Dylan refused, against policies to be removed from her side. Dylan was the only person in the world good enough to follow Shawn into her treatment room. If Shawn had died, Dylan would have died as well. I wanted that with Will, with someone, but I don't think I would ever find it. Will and Dex were the closest things I had to what Dylan and Shawn had, so did that mean I loved them, or I was settling for them? What if Will was only the replacement Dex? What if Dex was only the mold of what I wanted in Will?

Suddenly, Will waves his hand in front of my face, and I pop back into reality. I blush and Will laughs. It's a good thing Will finds my inability to concentrate cute because I do it a lot.

"Nix, I want you to meet someone," Will says, wrapping his arm around my waist.

"Is it your new girlfriend?" I ask, raising my eyebrow.

"It's more like your new boyfriend," Will smirks, pointing in front of me.

I follow his finger to the stunning blue eyes of Dex Harrison. I try to contain a gasp, and smile pleasantly at Will. Dex just had to be friends with Will! Do I say I know him, or do I pretend that I don't?

I'm about to ask Will who it is, when Dex sputters out my name, "Nikki?"

I smile back pleasantly and confidently, "Hello, Dexter!"

Jeez, that sounded really British! I blush slightly and straighten myself. Will raises his eyebrows, and I shake my head; I'll tell him later. I walk over to Dex and give him a hug, rubbing his shoulder as I pull away. I smile at him, and try my best to look composed, unlike the time I saw him in the bathroom.

I see Allison trying not to hold in a laugh, and I shoot her a look. She explodes in laughter, slapping Mike's shoulder as laughter rumbles through her body. Jen blinks up at me, looking extremely confused, as does Tom. Will glances between Dex and I so fast he is probably giving himself whiplash. Allison continues laughing, snorting on Mike's shoulder. Mike just shakes his head and tries not to make eye contact.

"Nikki, it's great to see you," Dex spits out, looking shocked. He glances at William, then at me, shaking his flop of hair.

I face the group, smile brightly, and say, "Dex was my friend since we were in preschool! I moved when I was in junior high and he was my best friend!"

The group nods in understanding, and Shawn laughs.

"What," I demand, facing Shawn. It comes out harsher than I meant because I'm stressed, but she just takes it in stride.

"You had me thinking he was your lost love from the way you stared at each other!" Shawn chirps, laughing at her own idea that wasn't completely false.

Shawn, I hope your wrong!

~Dex~

I look at my angel, her blond halo reflecting onto the cold tile of cafeteria. I see her lips moving, her smiling, her thin arms embracing my muscled chest, but all I can see is her lips colliding with Will's lips.

I can feel my mouth moving in a pattern of words, but I honestly have no idea what I'm saying. Nikki seems softer, more pleased, so I must be saying something good. I force myself to focus, and snap out of it. I need to wake up; Nikki is not my angel, she is the girl I loved when I was thirteen! I need to know the girl I'm looking at to love her.

I smile, "I missed you, Nikki! You were my pal!"

She laughs and says, "I didn't miss you at all!"

I roll my eyes, and snort, "Whatever!" She laughs and Will wraps his arm around her waist. I bore a hole into his arm. I swear, he better get his hand off! God, I'm a mess!

"Let's go get something to eat," Allison commands, pulling on Mike's hand. How does Mike keep up with that girl?

I walk with the rest of the group to the line, and scoop out two hamburgers, an apple, and a soda. Nikki, Jen, and Shawn opt for a light salad, and I almost cringe at how little it is.

"Why are you eating so light," I whisper to Jen, glancing at their small portions of food.

"We have a dance tonight at the assembly! We can't eat to much, just of to keep us nourished!" Jen explains, placing a bag of carrots on her plate.

"Sounds weird," I say, heading back to the table and trying to ignore the glare I was receiving from Tom, who was obviously not pleased with Jen's closeness to me.

"It won't when you see the tricks Nikki and Allison will be doing," Jen responds, putting the food on the table.

I rip open the foil on my hamburger and am just about to take a bite when Jen's mouth brushes against my ear, "I won't tell!"

I turn and give her a confused glance, and she returns my look with one of her own.

"I won't tell Will how much you love her," Jen whispers more fiercely.

"I don't..." I shake my head, and try not to stutter.

Jen interrupts me, "Please, you two are the replicas of Shawn and Dylan!"

"I don't love Nikki!" I demand, trying to control my feelings.

"Fine! If you don't, then you will," Jen says, peeling open her salad container.

I don't know whether I want her to be right or wrong.