I Will NOT, Can NOT fall in LOVE with the Hot/Player/Jerk of a bestfriend!

I Will NOT, Can NOT fall in LOVE with the Hot/Player/Jerk of a best friend![28]2

"I went through tons of things to try and remain fucking calm, then you go on and say that I went through all of that just for pretend? What is WRONG with you huh? I did everything I had to do!"

"And who was forcing you?"I screamed, fed up with this argument. Stay calm, Clair. Just stay calm. What a fail that was. I thought, telling myself to remain calm was like being locked in a submarine trying to grow grass. 

"Me! I was forcing myself. I kept telling myself, that sooner or later you and the gang will know. That you will all know that I will die and-"

"And then what?"I interrupted him. "What did you think would happen when we found out? What did you think we would do? Did you think we'd cry and say nice knowing you? Did you think we'd abandon you? Did you think you'd be on your own? Because if that's the case you will never be on your own Jay V. You have me, you have Bryan, Derek, Jaden, and Blake. "

"I know that."he said, looking straight at my eyes.

"Then finish your sentence."I said, returning his gaze.

"That you will all know that I will die...and be different. You think I want to see everyone feel all mopey and sappy and shit? No, I want all of you to be exactly the same. The same before you all found out about my leukemia. Movie and Game day and night, was one of the most NORMAL thing for a while. Everyone was the same, like it should have been from the very start. You have been a fucking emotional wreck for a while, since you found out and a bit before that. I have never seen you cry so much in your life before a few months ago. That is not the Clair Bear I know. Not one bit. I'm not the only one who has been acting differently." For the first time, I looked away.

"You're right."I said, letting out a mad fake laugh. "You're right. I have changed haven't I? I guess drama does something to you, to everybody who's in it."I laughed again, don't cry, don't cry. Jay V is right, what happened? I never cried before, why should I now?

"Drama has nothing to do with it Clair. You just lost yourself." Jay V replied, scooting closer to me. I hadn't realize the distance between us til now. "You're still the same Clair, character is something everyone is born with. You're strong, so strong. That's why I love you." I looked at him, and leaned in, giving him a soft kiss.

"We shouldn't fight."I said, as Jay V wrapped his arms around me. I leaned closer to his ear and whispered, "the baby doesn't like it." I kissed his cheek, and pulled the covers over my body, lying down, facing away from him.

"Clair," Jay V whispered in my ear, brushing my bangs behind my ear. Jay V wrapped his arm around me, and snuggled closer. "That isn't very nice, you're facing away from me."

"So what? I always sleep like this. Facing the wall, that way I can see nothing but black and think my eyes are closed when they really aren't. That's how I fall asleep! You know that!"I said, sticking my tongue out, though he can't see it.

"I know your sticking your tongue out. That's isn't very mature you know that. 18 year olds should act their age."

"Like I care,"I snorted. "Alright, I'm going to sleep now,"

"Yeah, you do that, miss I talk a lot."

"Shut up mister yell at a pregnant women!"

"Oh please! We found out that you were pregnant sometime ago in the past 2 weeks. You can just pretend that you aren't pregnant and do some shit before the 9 months where all you do is sit there and eat and cry and have anger issues."

"I already have anger issues,"I said turning my body, facing Jay V.

"Fine, anger issues that you can get away with." Jay V smiled.