Hightail: The New Speedster

Suppressed Grief

"And you're sure this is going to work?" She asked, reasonably skeptical.

"Caitlyn, I'm positive of it, I checked it myself," Cisco assured.

"Alright, if you say so," she decided.

By the look in her eye, I could tell she wasn't planning on coming back right away. I was going to miss her for the time being, mainly because she was our doctor but also because she was kind. Something I'd been missing for the past few years.

I mean don't get me wrong, Felicity is nice and all, but it kinda gets negated by Oliver's crudeness. His superiority, and his strictness, on top of his determination. There were other things but I decided not to go there.

Caitlyn opened a breach and disappeared through it, without even glancing back.

After a moment I said, "you know she's not coming back for a while right?"

"Yeah, I know, but she's coming back with Barry," he assured.

"We're without a doctor right now you know?" I informed.

"Actually, you're not," a British voice said from the doorway.

"Hey, you look like Draco from the Harry Potter movies," I blurted out.

Cisco widened his eyes and mouthed, "I know right!"

"The names Julian, and you are?" He asked.

I raced over to face him, looking into the very depths of his eyes. He began to shrink and back away in apparent nervousness.

"Volt don't worry we know who that is, he's a friend, while he's a dick at times, he's a friend," Cisco informed.

My gaze softened and he stood up straight again.

"Nice to meet you dick, I'm Volt Maxim," I declared, extending my hand.

"It's Julian, Albert Julian," he corrected taking my hand.

"Dick will do just fine," I informed facing Cisco who was trying not to laugh.

I could feel Julian's cold face following me as I walked around the computers.

"How old are you?" He asked.

"Age is irrelevant," I responded.

"I'm going to guess seventeen or eighteen," he deduced.

"Yes and I'm going to guess you're like forty," I retorted.

"Hey it doesn't matter how old anyone is, we're all very capable people," Cisco interjected.

Ralph walked back into the cortex, I hadn't noticed he'd actually gone anywhere. Which made me wonder where Sherloque was.

"Who's this?" Ralph asked, looking from me to Cisco, to Julian.

"Dick," I introduced, "Ralph, dick, dick Ralph."

"Ah good to meet you Dick," Ralph greeted, shaking his hand.

"It's Julian," he responded.

"God bless you," Ralph said, walking back out seeing there was nothing to be done.

Julian just rolled his eyes. I could tell we were going to get along famously.

"Cisco where shall I set up?" He inquired, gesturing towards his suitcase.

This was about to get complicated.

"Oh just in the infirmary," Cisco ordered, "do you have a place to stay?"

"I was thinking I would stay here, I'm sure it's not that big an inconvenience," he answered.

"How about you stay with me, I've got a pull out couch you can stay on," Cisco offered.

"Oh, thank you, but I'd much rather stay here, wouldn't want to invade on your space," he objected.

"The place here is currently under occupation," Cisco informed, clearly becoming distressed.

"By whom?" Julian questioned.

"Well, him," he gestured to me, "and Sherloque Wells."

"Ah of course, well in that case I'll stay with you until I can find better accommodations," he concurred.

"Great now that that's settled, I think I'm gonna go patrol the city, gimme something to do," I stated, "Cisco, you on coms?"

"I'll keep an ear out," he assured.

I knew the satellites would alert us to any problems, but it was beginning to feel crowded at Star Labs, and I needed a break. Running got my mind of things. It was a filter.

This all reminded me of my father's death. He was on a trip too Central City with my mother. For what I don't know it was about two years ago. The day of the Enlightenment. He died when the satellite fell, my mother went into shock from seeing it and never recovered. The doctors said she probably wouldn't either.

I was in Star city going to school at the time. My life was good, I was finishing college at 16, way ahead of any other person. Trying to figure out how to become a speedster. I figured it out, just as I was about to graduated too. Then I was held in Star city trying to care for my mother. I found someone to care for her, because I couldn't forever. I know that sounds bad, but I had more of a connection with my father, than with my mother. I never got time to mourn for him. Now I had all the time and I was avoiding it.

I stopped dead in my tracks along the empty sidewalk, and I just let the tears flow. For all my failures, for losing my father. How disappointed he'd be in me right now. How alone I was. I just let the tears flow, drowning my suit.

I had everything I could ever want. I was smarter than the average person. Faster than anyone else. I had a whole team behind me. Despite it all, I still just felt worthless.

I'd failed to save Iris, I could've, I had the ability too. Savitar was just too strong. I'd never got to say goodbye to my father. I couldn't take care of my mother, so I'd abandoned her to a caretaker. I worked for the Green Arrow, because I had to do something.

What kinda hero was I? I couldn't even take care of myself. I was so alone.

"Ha, look at this guy, a speedster wannabe. Betcha he's got some money," a man said from behind me.

I forced myself to stop crying, and stood up and whirled around on them. I was feeling sorry for myself, and I'd let my guard down. I knew better than that. It made me angry though, angry at myself. Angry at these fools who would try to rob a good person.

I could feel lighting surging through me. I wasn't holding back. I ran up to the front of them and shocked then with electricity. Just by holding the collars of their shirts. I sure I could've killed them, but I didn't. I had control of my anger.

I wasn't gonna let myself fall that low again. I couldn't. So there was one thing left to do. Visit my father's grave. Face him one last time, to tell him goodbye.

When I stood at his grave I removed my mask.

"Hey Dad, it's me. I finished college, passed with straight A's. I figured out how to become a speedster too. I made it, I am one. Aren't you proud of me? I can help people just like the Flash now," I said resting my hand on his gravestone.

"Yeah don't worry about Mom, she's okay. She's gonna be okay," I assured kneeling down.

"Oliver was a great help too, I think you'd have liked him had you gotten to know him, he's a good man. He helped make sure mom was taken care of so I could pursue my life's dream. He's gonna be a father of two kids now, did you know?" I asked folding my chin too my chest in an attempt not to cry.

I don't know what happened after that. All I remember is Wally standing over me the next morning. I guess I must've passed out.

"Hey bud, let's get you back to Star Labs," he said offering his hand.