Chasing Fire

Eleven

I was serious when I said na ayaw ko nang sumugal sa kanya. Nakakatakot na. But the billionaire seems not to understand what I said kahit pa inayawan ko na ang paanyaya nyang kumain kami.

"Hindi pa kita napapatawad, alam mo yun?"

And then he's still here, following me around. I rolled my eyes at pinagpatuloy ang paghahanap ng mga kailangan ko. Tulak-tulak ko ang isang cart habang nakasunod naman siya sa likuran ko.

"I know Fiero" I stated as I picked a bag of chips from the rack. "And I meant when I said that I want you to forgive me"

Hindi na yata siya nakapagpigil at hinarangan niya na ang dadaanan ko. Seryoso ang mga mata niya habang nakahalukipkip sa harapan ko.

"Then why don't you give me a chance? Why are you so afraid to try again?" Saad niya habang nakatitig sa mga mata ko. "I'm serious, Ayumi."

Umiling ako't iniwas ang cart ko sa kanya para magpatuloy sa paglalakad. Batid kong nakasunod siya sa akin kaya hinayaan ko lang. Nasa meat section na ako nang maisipan niyang magsalita ulit.

"Gaano ba kahirap paniwalaan ang mga sinasabi ko? Isn't my honesty enough to make you believe me?"

This time, he caught my attention.

"Mahirap, Fiero. Sobrang hirap" I saw him blinked in surprise upon my statement. So I took it a chance to talk more. "You can't just talk to me about getting back after how many years. Nakakapaghinala lang. Kung galit ka sa akin, then fine. Tatanggapin ko ang galit mo dahil alam kong deserve ko yun. Hindi na kailangang mag kunwari"

Ilang mura ang lumabas sa bibig niya at tila hirap na hirap siyang wag sumabog dahil sa galit. I can see fire dancing on his green orbs, I just don't know why.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I am not pretending!" His voice a little louder than normal kaya may iilang tao na ang napalingon sa gawi namin. "Oo nagalit ako nung umalis ka. Galit na galit. Pero ano pa ang magagawa ko? Umalis ka na. I know you have your reasons. And I am more than willing to listen. If, only if, you tell me"

He clenched his jaw kaya mas lalong nadepina ang hubog ng panga niya. Damn it. He's really handsome. Oh fuck. Why am I so focused on his facial feature? Snap out of it Ayumi! You are in the middle of serious conversation here!

"I was so damn impatient, Ayumi. Alam mo yan. But I forced myself to be patient and wait for you kahit walang kasiguraduhan! Do you think I still have the energy to plot a revenge on you when all the years that you were away from me I spent my whole damn time to keep myself sane? Ilang beses kong naisipang puntahan ka, ilang beses kong sinubukang makasama ka, but all those times, I kept on reminding myself that you need your space, that you need your time. Kaya kahit mahirap sa akin ang malayo sayo, kinaya ko"

The unexplainable feeling inside me is very evident. Kinagat ko ang pang ibabang labi ko para mapigilan ang sariling ngiti na gustong kumawala. My heart thumps fast that it enables me to speak.

"Kaya ngayong nandito ka na ulit, sa tingin mo sasayangin ko pa ang pagkakataong maakin ka? No Ayumi. I've waited a long damn time for you. Panindigan mo ako!"

He's really a changed man. My old Fiero won't say something like this, especially infront of many people.

"Fiero..." mahinahong sambit ko. "Alam mo naman kung anong nangyari sa atin noon diba? Kahit pa sabihin mong wala kang pakialam sa nangyari, it doesn't changed the fact that I left you, that I hurt you. I still think we should acknowledge that first before we rushed into things that we will surely regret in the future-"