Sin For Me (bxb)

Innocent*

Damian

I need this. I dont know why. I dont get it. I just do.

He twisted my hair harder, and I winced. He loosened the grip though, even though I wanted him to make it worse.

His eyes softened, and the second I saw the tear I knew I had pushed him to far. He gritted his teeth, and furrowed his brow.

"Please."

I fell onto my knees in front of him, laying my self out like an offering. A plate of goods he could do what ever he wanted to with.

"Please, Thomas." I begged again.

I watched as his eyes changed, his entire face devoid of the perfect catholic boy he was, and it was replaced with his other half.

He rewrapped his hand around my neck, and I leaned into it. His touch lighting a spark in me I never realized I had. A masochistic, needy spark that wanted nothing more than to be broken by Thomas.

"Make me stop." He told me, a last effort attempt to bring back his perfect side.

"Do it." I said instead, wrapping my hand around his wrist, keeping it there.

He bit his lip, and closed his eyes, his struggle still pushing.

"Fucking do it."

"No." He choked out. "No, Damian, I cant."

I blinked up at him for a moment, feeling his freezing cold hand against my cheek. He pulled it back, and I immediately missed the sensation.

Him. Him. Him. It had to be him. God really does hate me, doesn't she.

Bit my lip, feeling him run a hand through my hair. I clenched my fists at my side, still knelt down so my head was near his hips.

He away from me, leaving me on the ground with my knees pressed into the wood.

I stood and grabbed his shoulder, spinning him around. His eyes went wide, the gentle brown eyes that could go so cold.

I ran my hand up his neck. He didnt pull away, he stayed under my touch but wouldnt lean into it.

I felt his jaw, the small cut on his chin from the cheap razors, the freckles on his cheek, the scruff of his sideburns. I hadnt ever touched him even tough he had touched me. He was so cold, even in the summer heat.

"What do you want from me Damian, tell me what I can give you?"

I knew what he meant. 'How can I touch you without sinning?'

Thus such a terrible predicament.

God I sound like him.

I ran my hands through his hair, feeling the curls in between my fingers.

"Just... stay like this." I told him. "Stay."

He brought his hands to my chest, bawling up the fabric of my shirt in his hands, and laid his head upon my chest like a child.

I so badly wanted to do something. Kiss him, touch him, it didnt matter I wanted anything from him, but he is so fragile, and I would never want to break him.

As much as I wanted him to break me.

I glared at the moon outside. Wanting him and wanting him to stay pure. I shouldnt twist him and ruin his innocence, but feeling his breath on my neck made it so hard.

A hug. We are hugging and I feel like Im taking the guys virginity.

I tugged him to the bed, collapsing down onto it. He snaked his arms around me, and I laid on his shoulder. Breathing in deep, I could smell the cheap soap, and the candles from the altar. The scent of flowers and rain, though, stood out. Probably from staying in the garden so much, but I was so intoxicated by it.

"Is this wrong?" He asked.

"How should I know," I answered lazily, "Does it feel wrong?"

"No." He said.

I tested my luck, and pulled his thigh onto me, so our legs were wrapped together. I left my hand there, laying on his inner thigh, but didnt push past that.

We fell asleep.