WORKING FOR STYLES

30. Mine

“How poetic of you Styles” I smiles, knowing I let him in a little more than I thought.

As I watch him take out the ashtray and walk over to Lou I notice myself watching his walk. The way his long torso hunches over a little as he walks the way he nods his head down with his serious, worried look playing on his forehead. Its beautiful. The way he is. Just as he is. I’m not sure what its means now, but I know that since I got put into this new world with him and the career, its like everything came together all at once. I remember Sarah is coming soon and that makes me happier than ever. I however, don’t really know how long this will last considering we have a few very busy days coming up and getting wasted like this before one of them, was not the smartest idea. I take out a large glass and start to fill it with water, as appose to wine. Someone needs to be the more responsible one.

“Water already?” Niall laughs taking the cup from my hands and taking large gulps of water in, making the veins on his neck visible and push out.

“Thought I might go easy, give Tom a break before he bursts a kidney over stress” I joke.

“Have a tea then” he smiles putting the kettle on for me. As I drag the last bit of tobacco into my lungs I put out the cigarette and wash it down the sink.

“Why do you smoke?” he asks very sternly.

“I don’t know, I just do sometimes” I answer as the flashes of other substances I use to smoke flood my mind.

“Well, if you say so. You didn’t smoke before you went to London” he mentions and its true. I never even noticed the habit started back up when I came back.

“Maybe the stress of being in love with him is getting you down” he jokes causing me choke on my water. The kettle bell goes off and Niall pours me a cup of tea, the one he bought for me earlier.

“Does he know you love him?” he asks sternly again.

“No” I say honestly blowing at my tea to cool it.

“You planning on telling him” he jumps up on the counter gesturing for me to do the same. And as we face away from the group its as if Niall and I are in our own bubble of honestly once again.

“I assume so, I just haven’t had a good run with relationships. And telling him… well”

“It will make it all more real” he finishes for me.

“Yeah” I nod taking in the hot liquid into my mouth.

“What happened in London?” he asks drawing a circle on my knee. And his soothing touch almost meditates me, I take a few moments to explain everything that had happened as he sat listening to me. We laugh at the little things and seriously frown upon the bad. I tell him about the moment he wrote he loved me on the shower wall, and about how he arranged me to meet Ed. Niall tells me a joke or two about him and i laugh thinking ' oh ed would definatly do something like that'. It almost odd... my idol is a friend i am able to text, or call. I tell him about the time harry kissed pippa outside and how it all hit me then. It seems an hour or two go by while we sit here chatting. I look over at Harry a couple times as he gives me that 'i know you want this' grin in between chats with Lou. Im not fussed about their relationship - not even jealious. and it seems that the only girl that causes so much grief is Pippa...It as if Pippa’s name doesn’t ever get easier to say, or less painful.

“Its like she has to be apart of him, a part that I never got to know – a apart that shaped him”

“But, he’s the best he’s been in three years Kat, these few months with you its like he’s changed”