I Do Until I Don't

Chapter 34

I could go see a psychiatrist once I go back to Boston. It'll ruin the entire trip if I go in Florida. Besides, I don't have enough money with me to pay the fees. Yes, I'll go when I return. Or I could just never go and never know that I'm going crazy or that I have this... derealization thing. Is it dangerous? Will it stay permanently one day? What if I─

My parents barge into my room as I'm about to go to bed.

"So..." mom starts, sitting on my bed. Julia is out with Melanie and Nia. If she were here, though, mom and dad wouldn't have even thought of entering the room without knocking. "How'd the date go?"

"Fine," I promise because it is the truth. "Fannar is really nice."

"Just be careful," Dad says. "I've read that 61% of the population have admitted to cheating at least once in a relationship. And they are the ones who admitted."

Dear Lord. I hide under my covers.

"Fannar won't cheat on me."

"They all say that," dad says.

"I know. But Fannar won't."

Because we aren't even dating.

"So are you really over Alex?" mom asks.

I nod because I'm in no mood to lie. Even though, as I nod, it doesn't feel like I'm lying.

"What did you see in him anyway?" dad wonders. "Besides his amazing hair."

I really don't want to have this conversation. But dad's pressuring eyes and mom's hand on my arm tell me that they won't let this go until I speak.

"He was kind." I can't exactly recite them the two-paged list. It would be way too awkward.

"And what about Fannar?" dad asks.

"What about him?"

"What does Fannar has that Alex doesn't?"

Dimples. Listening skills. A talent of never making me feel like I'm annoying him.

"They are different. Different personalities. Alex is more extroverted. Fannar talks when he feels like it."

"And that's why you got over Alex? Because he's less extroverted?" mom sums up.

"No. I─. Fannar makes me laugh."

Mom beams. Even dad has the beginning of a smile forming on his lips.

"I like the kid," dad says. "But you know me. No guy is ever good enough for my daughters. Especially the youngest one."

"And your favourite," I add.

Dad laughs and pats my head.

"Just... be careful."

"I will." Dad tries to play with my hair, but I make him move by a rough movement of my shoulder. "So," he says, laughing a bit, "how was the date?"

"Fine. Really. I had a lot of fun." Until the might-be derealization episode. "We ate at a hot dog stand."

"Wow, the guy's cheap," dad points out.

I laugh because, well, it's the truth. But I like that about him. He never feels the need to prove he has money or to show me the most expensive things and bring me to the fanciest restaurants. We're just hanging out.

Because we're friends.

"I don't mind it," I say. "Anyway... we went to the beach, swam, ate, laughed. It was nice."