I Do Until I Don't

Chapter 8

***In this chapter, it's where everything will REALLY start. Hope you enjoy! ***

  When someone wins a World Record, they also win a million dollars. Then give me my money because my date with Fannar might as well be the most awkward date in the story of awkward dates. It was small talk over small talk over small talk. Throughout our date, I kept comparing him to Alex which, I know! I know! I shouldn't have done it, but I couldn't help myself. With Alex, last time we were together in Florida, we never small talked. We never asked each other our favourite colour (mine is blue, Fannar is green) and our favourite animal (mine is the dolphin, Fannar is the horse) and our favourite tv shows (Jane the Virgin for me, The Office for him). It was straight off to talking about dreams and fears and love. I can't believe I wasted an entire evening with a guy when I could have spent it with my sisters when I knew nothing would ever happen between us.

Because, even though I know I should get over Alexander, I don't want to. Not really. There is something oddly satisfying in loving ─ or liking ─ someone who will never love you back. It's like my heart is so used to this aching pain in my chest that getting over Alex would feel like getting rid of a part of me.

Besides, Alex and I could happen.

Technically.

It's not impossible.

Fannar either doesn't feel the same way as I do regarding our date or he is stubborn because he insists on taking a walk on the beach after supper.

"You liked the mini putt?" he asks me.

We're walking back to the parking lot. We decide to head there by walking on the boardwalk. It's not that late, but there are already so many people outside. The boutiques are all illuminated and the sellers are all out, shouting to come see their hand-made objects.

"I sucked at it, but it was nice," I answer.

The place was nice. He is nice. The date as a whole... not so much.

"You hated it," Fannar sums up.

It didn't start awkward, though. During the car ride to the mini-golf, we talked about our college plans. He'll be studying in Boston in marketing. I told him we could meet up since I'd also be studying in Boston. He said it'd be nice to meet up sometimes.

It's afterwards that it became awkward. When we started playing, and he accidentally slapped my breast with his golf club. After that, we tried to cover our embarrassment by asking really strange questions. It wasn't the fact that I hadn't answered these questions since I was in third grade, but the fact that neither of us developed on them that made it weird and uncomfortable.

"Jee, you really hated it," Fannar says and I realize I didn't answer.

"What? No! Sorry, I was thinking."

About how horrible it was. Maybe if there hadn't been any pressure on us to make this date perfect, it would have been nice.

"About what?"

"I..."

"That's okay. It's okay to say that it was a waste of time." Fannar laughs lightly.

I stop him by taking his arm. He turns around to face me. The sun hasn't even finished setting. Fannar's eyes are this wonderful shade of deep, ocean blue. He isn't bad looking at all.

"I didn't hate it," I assure him. "It's just that..."

I like someone already.

"It's just that I'm awkward and you're awkward and together we make the most awkward duo ever," Fannar completes for me. His smile makes me understand that he's only joking and not taking it personally.