Unexpected | Calum Hood

39.

"You better go." I force out, my voice thick and heavy.

"I could just not show up." He muses. "Miss the flight and stay here. It's just promo it's not a tour or anything."

"You know I can't let you do that Calum." I say seriously.

"I know." He replies sadly.

"I love you Calum."

"I'll miss you so much, Jes. I love you baby. I'll see you soon." He says kissing me one last time. Using our bodies to say everything our words can't. I let him pull away first.

"Fuck. Okay, I really have to go. Be good until I get back, I love you."

And then he's gone.

•

Calum

"You alright man?" Luke asks me as we finally are allowed to board the plane. I've been quiet since they picked me up. It's not really out of character of me but there's a difference between my usual observant quiet and this withdrawn silence.

"Not even a little bit, mate."

"It gets easier, ya know. At least a little. It's just something we gotta do, but we'll be back. Jes is in love with ya man. Her and Pais will be waiting for you."

"Yeah, but should they have to?" It's something I've been wondering for days. If this is even something I should ask of them.

"Cal you can't think like that."

"I can't help it. I feel like a prick. Our kid's two weeks old and I'm just leaving Jes to fend for herself. I'm a fucking asshole."

"You're not though. You're providing for them. You're doing what you love. They understand. Besides, your parents are around and she's got her best friend she won't be alone Cal."

"Yeah." I say shortly. It's not the same for him. Sierra's an artist too so she understands. Jes isn't used to this life and I'm asking too much of her. I hate myself for leaving her right now but there's nothing I can do about it. This flight's about to be hell.

•

5 hours. I slept for five hours straight, something I haven't been able to do in weeks. A pang rips through my heart as I think about the reason I've lost so much sleep. Paisley. I miss her so much. I'd trade in all my hours of sleep to just hold her.

There's still two hours of this flight left. I didn't buy the in flight WiFi so I settle for my flight playlist and scrolling through the camera roll of my phone. Picture after picture of them, of my girls. God why does this have to suck so much.

I lock my phone and stare out the window as New York comes into view. At least for the next few days we're in the same country. Next week we won't even be on the same continent. I try to remind myself all of the reasons I love my job, but it's hard when it's keeping me away from the two people I love more than anything.

•

"So Calum, you've just had a baby." The interviewer asks. My head snaps up from the floor where my focus had previously been. I hate interviews. I get so bored of the same questions over and over again but I love talking about my girls.

"I did, a little girl." I say, a smile breaking across my face as I think of PK. God, I miss her.

"How's adjusting to being a new dad?"