Unexpected | Calum Hood

6.

"Don't freak out yet," Lena whispers.

"How the fuck am I supposed to not freak out?" I cry.

"Those store tests can be wrong. You need to go to the doctor and have a real test."

I shift my eyes to look at her, "I doubt three different tests are wrong, Lenny."

"Either way you need to go see your doctor." I stare out the window and only nod in reply.

•

"Jessie Goodwin?"

I let out a sigh and stand from the waiting room chair I've been sat in, before following the sound of the nurses voice. I'm led into a small room where she checks my vitals and gives me a cup for a urine sample.

I had been dreading this for weeks now. I'd put off the appointment until I couldn't anymore. It's been eight weeks since I'd slept with Calum and Lena had been bugging me nonstop to come see my doctor. Up until now though, I'd been unable to get myself here. I'm not sure if it's denial or fear that kept me away so long but in the end I knew that I had to do this for my baby.

I fill the sample in the bathroom I'm directed to before returning to my room to wait. The walls of the small room seem to close in and the tick from the clock on the wall is deafening as the minutes pass. After what seems like hours the doctor knocks and steps in.

"Jessie, good morning!"

I smile and return my doctor's pleasantries. I've been seeing Dr. Stevens since I moved to LA for college, 5 years ago.

"So you're in to confirm a positive home pregnancy test?"

I nod.

"Alrighty, well let's take a look at your test results." She shuffles through some papers from my folder before typing something into her laptop.

"Well judging by your results you are indeed pregnant."

I feel the breath rush out of my lungs as I try to wrap my head around this. I'd known for weeks but hearing it confirmed by a medical professional seemed to finally allow the weight of the situation to settle on me. I drop my gaze to my hands as I begin to pick at my fingernails that are suddenly extremely interesting.

"We may be able to date your pregnancy today. Do you know when the first day of your last period was?"

I pull out my phone and look at the calendar app for confirmation.

"August 4th."

"And do you know the date of conception?"

"Yes, the seventeenth" I mumble and she only nods in response.

"Okay so you're about 10 weeks along" I give her a confused look "we date it from the first day of your last period" I nod and still say nothing. She closes the folder and looks at me. It's only now I feel the tears sliding down my face. She rolls her chair over to me.

"Jessie, I've known you a few years now and I can see you're upset. I'm guessing this wasn't planned?" I nod. "You have options Jessie. It's still early and we can get you support for whatever your choice may be. Whether that be to keep the baby, adoption, or abortion."

My eyes meet hers as she offers the last option. Am I a terrible person for considering it? I'm still young, I can barely take care of myself, it's not like the father is in the picture, would it be horrible to consider?

"I have some pamphlets for you that discuss all of your options. Read them over and come back to see me in two weeks, we can talk more then. We'll need a detailed medical history from you and—" she stops for a moment "dad."

Our eyes meet again and I try not to be hurt by the pity in her eyes.

"I'll see what I can do."

"Do you have any questions for me? We'll get you a prescription for prenatal vitamins and some paperwork on the way out that tells you some foods and activities to avoid, but anything else?"

"No, I may have some when I come back but for now I think I just have some decisions to make." I offer a tight smile and grab my things along with the paperwork she gives me. I check out at the desk and exit the building.

I slide into my car before the tears escape. I rest my head against the steering wheel and just cry. I cry because I'm confused, because I wish I wasn't alone, because I wish I hadn't put myself in this situation.

I let myself wallow in self pity for a few moments more and then put my car in drive and head home. I walk through my door and am immediately greeted by Lena.

"Hey, how'd it go?"

I feel my lip quiver as I look at her before the tears return.

"Oh Jes" she rushes forward with her arms extended and I hug my best friend and try to come to terms with the idea of being someone's mom. Lenny spots the pamphlets in my hand and I reluctantly hand them over. She flips through them all before handing them back without a word. She walks towards the kitchen and I follow closely behind.

"Just say whatever you're thinking Lenny."

"I know you've got some big decisions to make. I know those decisions ultimately belong to you, but I think he has the right to at least know that he helped make a baby, even if you don't want to keep it."

"I don't know what I want."

"Maybe telling him would help give you some clarity."

"I wouldn't even know where to start to contact him though" I reply

"You found him once on accident, surely contacting him on purpose should be possible" I tilt my head and consider her words, she does have a point.