Unexpected | Calum Hood

8.

12 weeks

The door doesn't open immediately and I begin to wonder if he'd changed his mind in the time it took the elevator to ascend to the top floor. Just as I'm preparing to turn around and leave I here the bolt slide open and the knob turns.

He looks different than the last time I saw him. His eyes don't shine and he comes off cold.

"Come back just to run off again?" He spits and I'm taken aback by his hostility. I lose my composure and it takes me a moment to gather myself and respond.

"I—I just....we need to talk" I finally manage to get out. He doesn't say anything, but he moves from blocking the door to allow me inside.

The silence hangs awkwardly in the air after he closes the door. He's waiting for me to speak but I can't bring myself to do it just yet. I step through to the kitchen and steady myself against the counter. Finally, he seems to tire of waiting for me to begin.

"Would you like some water?" He asks from behind me and I jump slightly.

"Yeah, sure. Thanks." I offer a soft smile as he reaches around me into the cabinet to grab a glass. He brushes against my back and goosebumps spring up to cover my skin. The contact ends as soon as it begins but it last long enough to get my heart rate up. I spin around and watch as he fills the glass with ice and water before handing it to me. Our fingers brush during the exchange and I feel heat rise to my cheeks.

"Why'd you do it?" He rushes out and I stare back at him in confusion wishing he would look at me.

"Do what?"

"I woke up the next morning and you were just....gone."

"I thought that's what you wanted? We both knew it was a one time thing. Besides, would anything have changed by me staying?"

He seems to consider my question.

"Well, no. Maybe? I don't know... I just know that I really thought we had a connection and despite the 'band guy' stereotype, I don't sleep with just anyone."

I swallow the lump in my throat.

"I think I thought if I hung around it might ruin my memory of that night. It might make me hope for something that would never happen. I might fool myself into thinking it meant something to y-"

"It did mean something to me." He blurts out, cutting me off.

I don't know what to say next. This wasn't the conversation I thought I'd be having with him. I wonder if everything he's saying now will be true when I finally have the conversation with him we need to have.

"Calum, I have something to tell you."

"You said as much. What is it?"

"Um, I really don't know how to do this. I'm a little caught off guard, I didn't even know if you'd remember me." I'm rambling and stalling and I've got to stop. Come on Jes, it's like a bandaid, just rip it off. I pull the paper the doctor had given me confirming my pregnancy from my pocket and unfold it. I smooth it before turning around so that I'm facing him. Our eyes finally connect for the first time since I've arrived and I see they're slightly glassy, like he's already emotional just from my presence. The sight of him like this does strange things to my heart and I only hope that he'll react to this like I want him to, like I need him to.

I reach the paper out to him and he gets a perplexed look on his face. He takes it from me and knits his eyebrows together in concentration as he tries to make sense of the paper. He steps into the living room and takes a seat on the couch. I follow him choosing to sit in a chair across from him.

He's silent for a moment before he looks up at me.

"How far along are you?"

"12 weeks," I reply, my voice coming out as a whisper. "before you I hadn't slept with anyone in almost a year, and there hasn't been anyone since," I say sheepishly, wanting to make perfectly clear that this baby is his.

He's so calm it's almost scary. I can't decipher if his non-reaction is fear, anger, or simple indifference. The last one scares me the most.

"How long have you known?"

"For sure?" He nods. "About a month. It took a little bit for me to accept it and go see the doctor and then I didn't know how to contact you. Truthfully I almost didn't come tonight."

That statement solicits the first sign of emotion since I handed him the paper.

"You weren't going to tell me?" He says with venom in his voice.

"I didn't know what I wanted. You have this amazing life, you're living your dream at the height of your career and I didn't want to disrupt that if I didn't have to." I say honestly.

"What do you mean if you didn't have to?

I sigh. "I didn't know if I wanted to keep the baby, Cal."

Anger flashes through his eyes and his nostrils flare. "You thought about getting rid of our baby before even telling me?"

I feel tears spring to my eyes at his word choice. Our baby.

"I just wanted to consider my options, Cal. I'm only 23, you're 22, we definitely didn't plan this. I didn't even know if I'd be able to contact you. You're not exactly the easiest to get in touch with."

He rubs his face with his hands and looks back up to me.  "I don't blame you for considering the options. What have you decided?" He's tense and his body goes rigid as he waits for me to speak.

"I'm keeping the baby."

"Yeah?" He asks and his body relaxes. I don't know what I expected from him, but this isn't it.

"That's the first time I've said it out loud...I'm scared to death. I don't expect anything from you, I'll figure it out, I just thought you should know you were going to have a child."

"We, Jes. We are going to have a child." He reaches across his coffee table and places his hand on my forearm. "You won't have to do this alone, Jes. Not if you don't want to."

It's everything I've wanted to hear since finding out I was pregnant. I feel as though the weight of the world has fallen from my shoulders and the relief of that leaves me bawling in Calum's living room.

He moves to sit beside me and I lean into him. It's so natural the way we fall together. He pulls me to his chest and lets me cry it out. "Shh, shh." He pulls away and uses his thumb and index finger to move my chin so I'm staring straight into his chocolate brown eyes. "Jes it's gonna be okay. We'll figure it out, all of it." I just nod and let him comfort me feeling so undeserving of his immediate acceptance of everything.

He didn't question me. He didn't get angry. He didn't ask me to leave. He didn't threaten me to keep me quiet. His first instinct was to comfort me. To promise me everything would be okay. To be absolutely everything I needed in this moment. I'd pictured this conversation a thousand times since my positive pregnancy test, and not one of them measured up to the actuality of this moment.