Mine (Lashton)

Chapter 38 Pacifism

Ashton

Well you could say that I should be hitting the roof right now; one of my best friend and my boyfriend had a sex tape together but honestly I was calm and collected.

Why? Well I have been practicing the art of pacifism. It's relieved a lot of my stress about everything. Meditation when I wake up, before I go to sleep and whenever I feel like I might punch someone.

Basically I was walking around with a smile on my face for the first time in a long time. Everyone thinks I'm weird because I constantly have a smile on my face and let every snide comment about me go unpunished.

And then of course everyone was talking about me because Luke and Kiera made a sex tape, which I should care about because Luke actually kept the tape but I don't because I'm now one with the universe.

Oh and everyone was also talking about me because apparently I need to make a choice between Luke and Ryder, like they actually know what's happening in my life right now. The odd thing was if I had to make a decision I don't know who I would choose. Would I choose Ryder who has been nothing but nice to me and makes me smile and laugh and feel alive again? Or would I choose Luke who I love but have so much baggage with? I feel like a bad Stephanie Mears novel.

But right now I was eating my lunch happily and in peace with seven pairs of eyes on me, studying for some change in my new outlook on life. None of them wanted to be the first to say anything because that's awkward but it also meant they were all being quiet. Tbh even I know I look like I'm on happy pills or something but I'm actually genuinely happy.

"So this whole pacifism thing...do you start wearing flower wreaths around you head or?" Luke asked randomly. Pacifism was not a form of being a hippie, geez I wasn't going to turn into Cher or Stevie Nicks or something crazy like that.

"That would be pretty cool but it isn't in the description" I explained trying to hide my laughter. I had the funniest though in my mind of me and Luke both wearing flower wreathes around our head and dancing to some of the earlier Fleetwood Mac. Then it changed to me and Ryder dancing around. Then it changed to me and the fifty year old librarian because she had just glanced in my direction from across the cafeteria. Gross.

"You're gonna explode if you don't bitch at someone. You're Ashton" Michael pointed out. I was not going to explode. It wasn't like I was a bomb or something. I was a conduit of happiness.

"And you're Michael with red and green hair. I mean that as a compliment because it looks like christmas..." I joyfully sighed before walking around to him and embracing him in a hug. "And christmas is full of love and family and trifle. Damn that trifle" I exasperated.

Everyone was looking at me like I was a crazy person again. It was really intimidating. But I knew they were all spirits of love they were gazing at me with so it was all alright. Maybe I had turned into a slight hippie. Not like dance around a campfire naked, prey to the happiness spirits hippie but don't resort to the violence and confines of anger.

"Seriously are you like smoking weed or something?" Ryder enquired with a too serious face. I had never done drugs and not told my friends about it. Or offered them some. It was only a few cigarettes of weed, nothing more.

"Not recently" I teased before strutting away pondering the vibrance of life.

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"Alright class todays assignment is to observe your partners attitude and write up complex notes for next weeks examination" Ms McKay explained cheerfully to the entire class. I glanced to my left and saw a grinning Luke giving me wiggly eyebrows. I already pretty much knew everything about Luke.