State of Mind

Chapter 17

Ava's POV

It didn't occur to me I would still be awake at this ungodly hour, worrying about tomorrow night. Although I have a right too, it's not like I'm walking into this situation without a plan. Everyone knows what they're doing, I know what I'm doing. Most of the time at least, my subconscious adds in.

Even at three in the morning, Osvaldo still creeps his name into my train of thought. I rolled my eyes in disbelief at myself. There was nothing left to be said anymore, I mean, what did we expect? We can't continue to be involved in such an intimate capacity, it only adds fuel to this deadly burning flame we've gained. I ached to rise from my bed and walk out onto that gorgeous balcony I have but I knew if I broke away from my bed, I would not be returning.

Within the next ten minutes, I began to hear knocking on my door. My heart froze. I swiftly grabbed my gun from my nightstand drawer and tiptoed to the front door. I could hear the loud thumping of my heart as I pressed my gun to my chest with my finger wrapped around the trigger. My lips parted allowing me to take deep breaths while I finally gained the courage to look through the peephole.

I let out an exasperated breath. You have got to be kidding me.

None other than the man of the hour, Mr. Osvaldo Martinez ladies and gentlemen. I put down my gun on the desk nearby and unlocked the door. I stood in the doorway with a burning desire to punch Osvaldo for showing up to my house this late at night. Impatiently, my foot began to tap on the ground and I broke the silence by saying, "What's the problem Martinez?"

He said nothing and brushed past me, practically allowing himself into my apartment. What an ass.

"Good morning to you then," I remarked fairly bothered.

I closed the door and shoved my gun into the desk drawer. We walked into the living room and I sat down on the couch facing Osvaldo's direction. I sat back as Osvaldo mentally put together a speech in his head. He had a funny way of speaking when he gets all riled up. He always has his head in his hands, his leg shakes, you can hear him mutter a few words if you listen carefully enough. It was just little things like that but boy was his temper explosive.

Finally, after ages of zero eye contact, those light gray eyes of his met mine and there was a lightning storm raging which occurred when Osvaldo was about to blow a fuse. His comical demeanor vanished meaning he had something big prepared. I had no clue what he was about to lay down on me but one thing was for sure, I was worried to find out.

"So, Ava, how have you been?" He started off with a healthy dose of sarcasm.

"I've been thinking a lot but mostly I have been fine. How have you been?" I asked bleakly.

He looked at me with a slightly flirtatious smile, showing to me what his schedule has been like. Ugh pervert. He got up and began to pace back and forth while I continued to sit back and watch. Our conversations never started this slow, they usually went off the basis of us making out this far in. Just as I opened my mouth to speak, he cut me off with a staggering sentence that blew my fuse.

"How is that thinking going to help our situation Ava?" He mocked.

That blatant tone of disrespect really tipped the iceberg. He knew how much I hated when he did that, mocked me with terms I once threw at him. God, he knew how to get under someone's skin.

"Well I'll be damned Osvaldo, this is what you've been compiling for the last week. This fucking argument!"

"I have Ava! You know why? Because maybe if you didn't deny yourself constantly, we wouldn't have to have this conversation!"

His words zipped my mouth shut as I turned my head to the side while clenching my jaw. He stomped his way out onto the balcony, throwing open the doors while he left me stunned. Once again, he was right. Yes, I could easily start yelling at him again but I knew he was overwhelmed because of what will go down tomorrow. I could easily tell where his mind has truly been since the last time we've seen each other, a place everyone's mind has been for the past week.

As much as we all need comfort, he needed it the most. I wasn't the one whose life would change tomorrow, it was his life that was. I sucked up my pride and walked out onto the balcony to meet him, but he didn't acknowledge my presence. He kept a stern gaze with the distance while I stood next to him, leaning onto the railing. I wanted to be there for him, but I was at a loss. I was barely there for myself half the time, how could I be there for a man who will kill his father tomorrow?

"I'm sorry I haven't been there for you when I should've been. I just... I've been trying to figure everything out amidst the chaos that will go to break out soon."

Osvaldo still enforced himself to face the opposite direction instead of mine. It was as if he couldn't face me like he didn't want too. For Christ sake, Ava talk!

"I know you think this is the end for us but I don't want it to be. I know you think I don't want us to happen but I do Osvaldo, I really do," I urged with desperation.

With ease, his hand slipped into mine and squeezed it tightly. He didn't move it away or even attempt too, he just kept it there while holding it securely. This was it, I just needed to chime in that last bit of reassurance.

"Look at me."

I pulled at his arms to shift his body to face mine. He looked down, but I lifted his chin so his eyes could meet with mine. I gave him a soft smile and tenderly held his arms as I wrapped his hands around my waist.

"No matter what happens to us, I will never forget what you've done for me. You have brought me light, you have given me something worth fighting for. I do not want to lose that light because of some knucklehead that wants to mess around with us due to our relationship becoming public," I declared in a soft but tender tone.

Immediately, his eyes lit up with understanding and care. I looked up with a smile to reassure him that we'd figure out something. Everything felt so precarious but after a few seconds, that feeling of devotion could be made out. Every person in this world knows what they want, they just need someone or something to bring it out of them. In my case, Osvaldo showed me what I have needed for a while.

We remained in this tight hug for a few minutes in silence. Osvaldo broke the hug, suggesting he should stay over my place to quote-unquote, "sleep."

I admired his suggestion, and we both went back to my bedroom and did just that, sleep. Well, more Osvaldo than myself as I was stuck with my wandering mind. I was practically killing myself by overthinking every little spectacle of tomorrow night.

My mind ran back to the meeting we had earlier with everyone regarding how the plan will be executed. I assigned a certain amount of people on standby to be scattered around Sebastion's dock and when the signal is given, they will take out anyone in their sight. Rick and Elijah are sniper duty being that it is their main source of expertise. Andrea and Olivia will both go solo and meet with me and Dante at the center of the dock, where the shipment intake goes down. Osvaldo will be with his father unloading shipments and as soon as I give Rick the signal to fire the first shot, the war will begin.

We all knew what we were doing so there wasn't a specific reason to be worried. Yes, there are possibilities that things can go wrong, but we can only pray that it will transpire well.

Just as my mind was about to go into mental overdrive, Osvaldo spoke.

"Overthinking won't help you sleep but I know what can," he flirted.

"Sex doesn't solve everyone's problem perv," I informed with my signature eye roll.

"Sex? I don't know about that, in fact, I was just suggesting a cuddle. Who's the pervert now?" He joked.

"Ha, Ha, you're so funny," I said with every ounce of sarcasm I had in me.

I scooted over to his side while cuddling up against him. My back pressed against his abdomen as his arm tightly snaked around my waist. He tucked his head into my hair and within a few minutes he knocked out. Typical.

I felt more comfortable being so close to him in such a calm manner. It was very different compared to how I acted with him when we first met. Oh, how the months went by. This journey was so odd with a plotline that was twisted but somehow landed us here. It's no surprise that Osvaldo and I want to be together but it feels like it's not over when it's supposed to be.

There is so much more to us than just this but what more could there be? It's just the under-slept brain speaking, I thought.

Yeah, that must be it, it has to be.

The future holds powerful things but I can only wonder what it has in store for this new chapter of my life. Is it good or bad?

I guess only time will tell.

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Author's Note:

Sorry this chapter is kinda short but the next chapter is the finale! Like Ava said who knows what the future holds?

Beginning song reference: Arcade by Duncan Laurence.

Like Always,

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Thank you all so much for reading and I shall see you all in the next chapter!  ♥️