Gentle fingers guide her chin up, the songwriter locking onto green eyes that are looking at her with such emotion it makes Taylor's stomach swoop in the best way. Those eyes are looking at her with more tenderness and affection than she ever thought possible.
Karlie's hand slips underneath her hair to hold the back of her head, her every movement filled with so much meaning as she slowly closes the minimal space between them. Her eyes slide across the blonde's face, as if she's trying to commit everything to memory. She's so careful, the way she holds her; like Taylor is the most precious thing in the world.
The songwriter wants to close her eyes and lose herself in the moment, but she forces herself to keep her eyes on Karlie's; not wanting to miss a second of this. Taylor's breath catches in her throat as the model's lips finally brush against hers, so soft it almost feels restrained, but not in a bad way.
It's subtle.
Unassuming.
The calm before the storm.
It's like when you're standing on the edge of a cliff, teetering at the edge and readying yourself to jump. So you give yourself a moment, take a deep breath, and just let go.
That's what this kiss feels like.
Like a culmination of everything they've both ever been through leading them to the edge, and now there's nothing left to do but jump. Everything feels weightless as they free fall; lungs burning like the searing pain when you scream at the top of your lungs the whole way down.
Taylor's hands cup Karlie's face and she pulls her in, happy to drown in everything she's feeling in the moment for this incredible person. Her girlfriend's hand slides to her back, holding her still while the model shifts impossibly closer.
Karlie's fingertips dance across the songwriter's skin, setting her body on fire. Her hands roam up and down in adoring touches; from her sides, to her waist, down to her thighs, and back up again.
But when her hands travel a bit too far and hit a sensitive spot on her lower back, the blonde lets out a sharp intake of breath and flinches; making the model immediately pull away as if she had been burned. It's like she finally breaches the surface, gasping for air as it rushes through her lungs. Her body trembles as the cold rush of separation mingles with the fire raging within.
Taylor can see the resolve setting in as the haze in those enchanting green eyes begins to disappear. She knows Karlie won't push any further; her girlfriend being far too respectful for such a thing. She's slightly relieved because as much as she loves Karlie, and as much as she liked what was happening, she doesn't think she's quite ready for them to have sex yet.
She still has body insecurities and ghosts that haunt her mind and she doesn't want to have any second thoughts or regrets. She doesn't want to hurt or confuse Karlie because of her own emotional baggage. And she doesn't know how to explain what's going on in her head, which makes everything all the more confusing.
The model has proven herself over and over again, not only with her words, but with actions to back them up. Her girlfriend has been nothing but patient and kind and she's been so supportive and understanding. She trusts her completely. She stopped worrying about Karlie being the one to hurt her a while ago. She knows without a doubt that her girlfriend would never want to hurt her in any way.
But what's holding her back is that she doesn't trust herself to not hurt the model. As much as being with Karlie has helped her heal, the songwriter still has some ghosts that regularly haunt her thoughts. Echoes of words thrown at her in such spite and anger from her ex, pointing out her biggest insecurities and having them used to hurt her. It was a sick kind of emotional manipulation she went through for months.
Chapter 55
Start from the beginning
