My Heart Is Like Shattered Glass

12 ((hehe i chickened out due to me still questioning my sexuality))

Izuku POV

After we had finished eating, we both went back into our room. Sitting on our bed in a comfortable silence, we snuggle.

"Hey, Izu, I'm going to the store; need anything?" Shoto asks, breaking the silence.

"No, I don't," I reply, "but don't leeeeave~ I want more snuggles."

"You'll get plenty of snuggles and love when I get back. I'll be back soon, promise."

"Fine."

He gets up, grabs his wallet, and gives me a quick peck on the lips before leaving. I blush. I'm so lucky to have Shoto as my boyfriend. Well, for me it's lucky to even have a boyfriend at all. One thing that confuses me, though, is how Shoto ever 'fell in love' with me in the first place. Was it because of what I said during the sports festival? I know that Endeavor's not as big of an asshole than he was before, but he was back then so Shoto wouldn't use his flames. I never really thought of why I ever fell in love with him, either. I know it was around the time of the sports festival, maybe because he started opening up to me and the others. And him being as fucking hot as he is helps. Honestly though, does love even need a reason? Who knows. For some people it may, others it may not. Oh well, I should look for something to do while I wait for Shoto.

***

It's been 45 minutes, and Shoto isn't back yet. I hope he's okay... What if he got hurt? Or killed? No, he has a strong quirk and he could defend himself.. I think. What if he's seeing someone? What if it's Yaoyorhoezu? ((had to))

My mind races with more thoughts as I begin having a panic attack. I'm sitting on the bed, hyperventilating, when I suddenly get the urge to cut. When we were leaving my house, Shoto didn't let me take any razors; or any sharp things to cut with.And I forgot my razor on the rooftop. I jump out of bed, stumble a bit, and make my way to the kitchen. Grabbing the first knife in sight, which was a small thing about the size of a classic steak knife. I quickly sneak back to our room, and thankfully didn't run into anyone.

Sitting on the bed, I roll up my sleeves and take the blade up to my left forearm and make 4 medium-size cuts. As I feel the warm blood run down my arm, I feel a wave of relief crash over me. When I'm done, I run across the hall to the bathroom, and sit on the toilet. I grab the toilet paper and begin cleaning them up as best I can. Once they stop bleeding, I sloppily wrap my wrists up in toilet paper and roll my sleeves back down. I get up and walk back across the hall, and plop down on the bed when I reach it. Then I run the knife back to the kitchen and wash it. I feel tears coming, so I hurry back to our room, curl up in a ball on the bed, and let them flow freely. The next thing I know, I'm being gently shaken awake by Shoto.

"Izu~" he coos, "I'm back with a-"

I cut him off by springing up and hugging him. Shoto chuckles, and hugs me back, before setting me on the bed.

"Look what I got," he beams, as he excitedly pulls out a little black box. He opens it, and reveals two matching rings. He grabs one of them, and tells me that it's for me. I take it out of his hand, and examine it. I find the words, 'Property of Shoto, no touchy' engraved on it, and blush. He shows me the other one, and it has the same thing on it except with my name and not his.

I laugh, before muttering how it was kinky. He just smiles, before giving me a peck on the head.

Out of nowhere, he grabs my hoodie and tries to take it off of me.

"H-hey?!"

He points to the blood stained sleeve from this morning.

"It's dirty," he says, nonchalantly, "I'm gonna wash it."

"N-no, it's fine," I stutter in response.

"Izuku, you're going to ruin your hoodie, take it off."

I don't say anything.

"Fine," he says, and practically yanks it off of me. He notices the toilet paper on my arm, and reaches out to pull it off. When he sees the seven cuts, three of which are from this morning, he looks hurt.

"...You said you would try to stop," he rasps, and a single tear runs down his cheek. He wipes it in a swift motion. "I know these three are from this morning because they're already completely done scabbing, but these four look fresh."

"I-"

"Izuku, please. I love you and it pains me to see you like this. What if you accidentally cut too deep? I need you in my life." More tears run down his cheeks as he croaks out his sentence. I reach up and wipe them. Shoto grabs my arm, pulls it up, and kisses each one of my cuts. Another tear drips, and lands smack dab on one of my fresher cuts.

"Remember? You said you'd stop for me, or at least try to. I promise I'll always be here for you, and I'm not joking."

I feel happiness, sadness, and anger all stir up inside me. Tears roll down my cheeks, but I feel the anger take over.

"I know I said that!" I shout, "But Shoto, I don't have any equanimity! I'll erupt in anger of break down in panic attacks at any moment! I love you, but sometimes it can't be helped if I cut or not!"

He nods and apologizes, before pulling a little business card out from his pocket.

"I know. That's why I signed you up for therapy today," he says, and hands me the card. It reads 'Good Days Therapy and Counseling'. I'm at a loss for words, so I just stare at the card. He signed me up for therapy? Really?

"You really did this?" I ask, and he nods. I hug him, before thanking him and apologizing for the outburst. He says that it's no big deal, and I just nuzzle his chest in response.

"Oh, and you're first session is next week on Friday," he says, and I just nod. Well, I guess I'm finally being helped.

=========

I cried while writing this. No, not because of the book, but because I was listening to Y Si Fuera Ella for the millionth time. And yes, I mean the one by Jonghyun (rest in peace, you did well). I mean, WHY TF DID NO ONE QUESTION THE GODDAMN FUCKING LYRICS? LIKE IF SOMEONE JUST- sorry... I'm ranting. But if someone had actually payed attention to the lyrics, Jonghyun's suicide might not have happened... I can't speak for myself either, but=

never mind, I dont want to cry again

ANYWAY, THIS BOOK IS COMING TO AN END! well next chapter, but-

shamelessly promote myself here- Im working on two other books, one is about a serial killer who falls in love with his to-be victim, and another is about- never mind, it used to be published on here so if you looked at it then u should know. I think I might wait until its completely finished to publish it, but im not sure. Should I?

also, I have like 5 or so ideas for more mha fanfics. so expect for more books in the future.

im also taking book requests

so yeah