A Trial by Halves

A Smile not so Bright

And through the long lonely years, she had struggled to keep herself afloat, had it not been for Er Li, she didn't think she would have managed as well as she did.  Of course everything that Mo Yuan had told her back then, had seemed so wonderful and to them both, it had seemed as if Ye Hua was going to be given a second chance, only Mo Yuan had not really explained just how long he would be gone, or how their son would help his father return.

Thinking about it now, it had all seemed so vague yet unrealisticaly promising.  But the moment she saw the agony in his eyes, she knew then that if he did come back, it would not be any time soon and what she also realized was Ye Hua had also known regardless of the little that her Shifu had told them.

Now seated on Er Lis bed and once again listening to a much more indepth explanation of what had happened and the amount of work that Er Li had put in to saving his father, she suddenly began to anger.  Of course she understood that Er Li had been tasked with assisting his father and a magic as old as time had been gifted to him for this purpose, but for the past twenty five thousand years, she had not only faithfully awaited her husbands return just as she had done for Shifu for seventy thousand years, but her son had been led onto this journey that she'd had no real say in and suddenly it all seemed too much.

"Shifu, I understand everything you have said, and for the past twenty five thousand years I said nothing because I trusted in your knowledge and I knew with absolute certainty that Er Li would be safe.  But how can he greet a man he knows only by his soul pieces?" she asked tearfully which only had Mo Yuans eyes narrowing in on her.

"You learned under me that a soul knows no boundaries.  They bonded as father and son well before Ye Hua left and in the ensuing years, that bond has strengthened.  They could meet each other in a crowded room with a thousand of others, but they would still know each other." he replied before pulling her to him a little closer.

"But that is not the question you wanted to ask." he said softly and to her mind, very much like the Shifu she had once known, a man she was never able to hide her thoughts from.

"Shifu.  I waited seventy five thousand years for your return in order to repay every kindness and debt that I owed you.  For you I did what needed to be done.  And in all that time, not once did I falter and nor did I consider my actions selfish regardless of what the world thought.  I wanted you to come back so I could thank you properly and I did that." she said swallowing back the lump in her throat because what she was about to say next, could be construed as selfish.  Mean spirited even, but if she didn't say it now, she would only end up resenting him and her husband along with him.

"But after all that,  I then had to wait a further twenty five thousand years for Ye Hua.  That is one hundred thousand years of my life waiting for you both and I can't help but feel that the Heavens hate me.  After all, you are both the Sons of Heaven." she said before bursting into tears.

Mo Yuan said nothing for a while, because he fully understood what she was saying.  One hundred thousand years was a life time for some, so to have lost it to himself and his brother was not something he would ever take for granted.  He also understood how unfair fate could be, especially seeing as her one little mischief all those years ago, had cost her so much and he too couldn't help but ask why.  Which was in effect the real question behind her little outburst.

It wasn't that she was angry with him or his brother, but fate.  He had seen for himself the agony she had gone through as she waited patiently for his brothers return.  She may have had an endless supply of smiles and kind words for those who needed them, but beneath the pretense was a fragile woman who had suffered far too much for both of them.

"Seventeen.  I cannot answer for Heaven, but I can honestly say that what comes next is your happy ending." he replied with a soft smile while gently reaching out to pat the top of Er Lis head who was lightly stroking his mothers arm and looking just as lost as she was, though more in confusion, because it seemed as if she wasn't happy that his father was returning.

And that was the thing.  She was ecstatic and beyond happy, yet despite the long wait and now finally the grand finale which was just a few days away, the anger inside that she had been holding onto for twenty five thousand years was boiling over as she thought about what she'd had to go through just to get to that point.

Every day, no exceptions, she thought of him.  He was constantly on her mind in everything she did.  When she ate, she thought of the dishes he used to cook for her.  Lighting a candle reminded her of their home on that island and the soft glow it would send about the room.  The colour black in everything reminded her of his robes.  Even dressing herself reminded her of him taking them back off again.  But the worst had been the long lonely nights without him, the warmth of his arms or the soft breath against the side of her face when he slept. 

And for Shifu to be sitting there telling her that all would now be well, just wasn't enough, not when she along with her son had lost far too much of him along with one hundred thousand years of her life and all because of one little thing that had her son growing up far too quickly and being forced to undergo a trial of his own spirit before he could even walk.  To her mind, the Heavens had a lot to answer for, so as happy she was, she was also just as angry.

"Seventeen..... we have work to do if we are to bring him back." he said before gently pushing her off him to look down at her.

"Then I must ask one thing." she replied as she forced the tears back to look at him.

If I have to go into battle against Heaven itself,  you have my word that it will be so." he said with that small smile of his at the sight of her small shoulders stubbornly rising along with her head.

"Er Li has done more than enough.  I want to be the one who brings him back." she said with a look of steely determination on her face and for the first time since he entered that chamber, the first flicker of happiness began to show through those soft brown eyes of hers.

"Alright.  Then we begin right now." he replied with a much wider smile at the both of them even though he knew that the road ahead was not going to be easy for her.

"What do I need to do?" she asked steeling herself as best as she could.

"We are going to need the fungal grass." he replied.