Try Once More.

Chapter 8: Threnody.

Frida began to scream "BENNY, WAKE UP!" while looking at the little girl, Benny woke up frightened by the screams and when he saw her holding the crib and crying he threw himself off the bed and went to see what was happening. "Benny, my baby." Frida began to cry, he still wasn't out of shock and confusion, he held Alice in his arms begging that everything was a lie and that Frida was just wrong but she was cold and wasn't breathing anymore, his tears began to fall like a waterfall, he simply said nothing, just looked at her and cried while Frida was on the floor without strength.

The children had heard screams but they were confused because they didn't listen very well until they heard Frida shout "MY BABY", there they knew something was really wrong and Hans as the elder began to knock on the door "what happens? Why the screaming?" But nobody answered him and on the contrary they only listened to Frida who kept crying.

Hans opened the door and the four entered watching the scene, Benny sitting on the bed with Alice in his arms and crying while Frida was lying on the floor also crying disconsolately. The four immediately became alarmed and ran towards them. "Mom, what's up?" Lotta and Heléne began to cry as they sweated cold.

Hans held Alice because Benny was still in shock and didn't say or do anything. "CALL AN AMBULANCE!" Heléne who was on the floor holding Frida yelled at Peter. Peter ran into the hall where there was a telephone and called to emergency almost without being able to speak, he was stuttering and shaking.

When he returned to the bedroom Frida had already risen from the floor, Hans had put the baby's body on the bed, Frida felt a great pressure in the chest and couldn't stop crying, she was confused, didn't even know what she was living, only knew that she wanted to cry and die too.

The doctors arrived and also the police with a prosecutor to lift the body of the child, Benny got out of bed without saying anything and with his hands on the head and the face red of so much crying. Lotta and Heléne were hugging incessantly crying, the officers tried to ask what had happened but Frida only spoke inconsistencies and Benny said nothing, Hans tried to be strong but he didn't know what happened either.

When the specialists began to do their job they took pictures of the scene and Frida threw herself into bed again crying in tears and hugged the lifeless body of her little "my daughter," she repeated again and again with her face full of tears and boogers, the screams came out of her soul... she felt like she had simply been robbed of a large part of her suddenly pulling away and scratching her entire being.

The officers tried to separate her from the body in order to cover it and proceed to take it to the morgue. When they took the lifeless body from the room Frida tried to follow them but had no strength to walk and fell to her knees, didn't even try to get up and continued crying on the floor.

Heléne and Lotta tried to give her strength to get up but not even they themselves had it. They cried and cried. Immediately when saw police around the house and the ambulance the neighbors realized what was happening, Agnetha and Björn who lived a few minutes away also found out and ran even in pajamas to the house because someone has told them.

They were desperate and scared to the extreme and needed to know what was happening, just when they entered they saw that they were carrying a small body covered with a white sheet, Agnetha was shocked and opened her mouth covering it with her hands, Björn held her and they both watched as they entered the body to the ambulance.

They heard only screams and regrets "what happened here?" Agnetha said in a broken voice. At that time Benny was coming down next to Hans and of course they were both broken. Agnetha who had a blank mind yelled at Benny "what happened?" He couldn't take it anymore and quickly went to hug them full of tears and despair while saying "she died, she died... my daughter died Agnetha." The three of them hugged while cried.

Agnetha looked up listening to Frida's threnody and broke the hug running to the second floor, found Frida pulling in the entrance of her bedroom crying comfortlessly and Lotta and Heléne with her, Agnetha also threw herself on the floor and hugged them crying "my daughter," Frida kept repeating desperately. She felt how everything hurt, her body, soul, life.

The officers explained to them what the process would be, Frida had her arms crossed and was lost in her thoughts with swollen eyes and Benny was reacting a little more although pain and despair were still present. Björn called Görel and Stig to be aware of what happened, he knew that Benny and Frida were going to need as much support as possible.

In the company of Peter and Agnetha they went to the morgue to wait for the autopsy results, Frida had no strength at all, she just wanted everything to be a dream, a damn nightmare... she hoped to wake up and find her daughter alive sleeping in her crib. Every time she thought about it cried and cried incessantly, in all the eagerness and apogee hadn't even seen Benny in the eyes and less embraced.

While they were in the corridor of Forensic Pathology Frida got up from the chair and went with Benny, they both looked at each other for a few seconds and burst into tears again hugging "our daughter died," Frida said with difficulty because her voice was broken by crying. Her tears was the great synonym of the enormous sadness that their souls felt, losing a child is the worst feeling a human being can experience.

They saw their lives pass in the chariot of death with their little daughter. Both wanted to die with her. "Benny, my baby!" the legist doctor left the room and they separated to listen to what he had to say.

"We have to send the report to the prosecution, the girl doesn't show any sign of violence or anything like that, I didn't find traces of poisoning or any disease, it is sudden death syndrome". The doctor handed a sealed envelope to the secretariat to send the report to the Public Ministry.

"Can I see her?" Frida said almost begging the doctor and he accepted, Benny took her hand and they both walked down the dark hall where they never thought they would go, not to see the body of their daughter. They entered the cold room, they were accustomed to the winter of Sweden but not to that of the morgue room. Their little daughter was on the stretcher covered by a white sheet, neither of them were prepared to see her.

Frida ran and discovered her, she was completely naked and gray, her little one, the reason for her happiness, her great love. She had a Y-shaped scar on her little body, Frida collapsed to cry while trying to hug her and Benny hugged them both crying too.

"Relive, please", Frida screamed without compassion, they felt the greatest pain a person could experience, their bodies burned with rage and helplessness when they couldn't do anything to change their destinies. The doctor entered the room again because they had to prepare the girl's body to be able to take it to the church.

They went home because they also had to prepare to go where the little girl's remains would be veiled. While they were in the bedroom changing clothes Frida couldn't resist it, she looked at the crib and then at the bed, her eyes were full of tears feeling the pain in her own flesh, she remembered the beautiful blue eyes of her little princess and then she remembered that she was no more, had gone out.

She sat on the shattered bed to cry more, couldn't take life anymore. Benny sat next to her also crying, their shoulders shaked every time wanting to tear off the pain but they couldn't, it was impossible. "I want to die", Frida shouted forcelessly. "She's not here", looked at her hands as if she had escaped from there.

Benny stood up from the bed and tried to hold her hand to help her get up "we have to go", he ran his handkerchief through his eyes to wipe his tears. Frida said nothing and held Alice's onesie, just the one she had the day before, she smelled it and the tears kept running all over her face, it had the smell of baby and milk, a smell of softness, love and joy, Frida squeezed and kissed it.

Lotta knocked on the door and Benny opened it, she also had red eyes and with a lump in her throat she managed to speak "mom, we must go now", Frida looked up and saw Lotta and burst into tears again, her mind began to flood with thoughts because she had always felt guilty for being a bad mother, even if it wasn't.

Lotta tried to help her get up with Benny and they managed to go to the car that was waiting for them to go to the chapel, it would be in Lidingö's, that's why it wasn't so far from there, all the way they were thinking how hard they were going to see their little treasure in the coffin, a father or mother should NEVER go through something like that. The pain was so unbearable for both of them that they felt fade with each passing hour, how had everything changed in a matter of hours?