Sincerely, your Daughter

Chapter 33

Dear Mum and Dad,

14/06 : A couple of days till the exams.

          I know, it's a fairly straight forwards title. I'm just not in the right mind to think of anything witty and creative. I have done so much studying, I just can't think of anything else. Eating food ? Thinking of math. Going shopping ? That's anatomy. Playing a video game ? Thinking of my design course. Sleeping ? My study notes float around like clouds. I can't escape it, it's everywhere. My lessons follow me, and it creeps me out. I don't have a minute free anymore, I can't remember last time me and James went on a date. 

          Exams start next week, and I know I've studied enough, but it doesn't feel like it. I'm so scared. What if I don't pass ? What if I'm the only one that doesn't pass ? Will James leave me ? Will Heather forget me and move on ? If I don't pass, should I try again ? Or should I do something else ? No, I've worked to hard these last three years to do anything else, so I should try again. But will the teachers hate me because I failed ? Well I guess they can't because teachers aren't even supposed to cared about the students, let alone hate them, so I think I'm safe. Maybe ? 

          I know I must be annoying asking all these questions, but they're just floating around in my head, and with the studying I've done, I'm pretty sure I'll pass, but I just can't stop thinking about the "what if's ?" I'm sure you guys must of had the same problems for your exams, but it's just so scary that I can't not think about it, you know ? It's just something that follows you around and you just can't get rid of it, it's always there, even if it stays in the back of your mind.

          What I am looking forward to is the small get together me, James, Heather and a few others have planned. We decided that no one is studying the night before the first exams, so we are just having as small get together, with a small meal, just to take everyone's mind off the up and coming doom that is hanging above us. So hopefully we can all make it through the evening without getting to drunk, or suicidal about the results of exams we wouldn't have done yet.

          Just think about it, in just over a week, I'm going to be out of school, forever. Then I'm going to have to find a job, and work, and be an adult. Are you ready for me to be all grown up ? I don't think even I'm ready for me to be all grown up.  But I guess it's bound to happen sooner rather than later now. So, you've got to be ready, I'm not leaving you a choice really. 

Well, see you next time,

Love,

          Amelia, 

                                                       your grown up baby girl.