Sincerely, your Daughter

Chapter 12

Dear Mum and Dad,

11/05 : Uncovered Truths

          Over the last month, the work load as been really heavy. End of year exams are coming up fast, and I feel that even all the studying in the world cannot save me from the failure of my exams. I have been talking to Heather about this, and she feels the same way. We have been studying for weeks, and sadly the gaming consoles have not been turned on for two months at least. This is getting crazy.

          I wake up earlier for school since they decided to make us start earlier, and come home later in the evening since I stay later to study. I could probably study at home, but I know that the consoles, and my computer, and my phone would tempt me too much. Let's not even talk about it if I was near my bed. The temptation to sleep would be too strong, and I would never leave my bed ever again. 

          Heather has decided that Sunday would be our resting day, that means no homework, no studying, nothing to do with school. We decided to sit down and talk, just about anything that passes our minds, to get things of our chests that were bothering us.

          I had to be honest to her and... I have to be honest to you. I... have doubts... on what I'm doing. I don't know if this is the right thing for me, like is this the right path for me ? Am I doing what's right ? At the beginning I knew exactly what I was going for, what I was doing this for. But now I'm in doubt.

          I don't know what to do. Is it normal to have these doubts ? Is it normal to think that I've taken the wrong road ? I keep feeling like this isn't the thing for me. Did you guys feel like that when you guys went to university ?

          I know you won't answer, you never do. At the  same time you can't, because you don't actually see the question. I forget that sometimes. I always feel that I'm going to send the letter, but I know that if you guys saw what I was writing, you would have probably come to get me and brought me home already. This was probably a bad idea to start these letters, but how was I to know that they would go wrong like this ? I couldn't know, and now I just got to hope that my future self remembers to not show you these letters. If you do actually see these, please know that these thoughts are real, just... please don't hate me...

          It doesn't mean that I'm doubting that I won't work. These thoughts are actually pushing me to work harder because the more I do this, the more I will know whether I want to be here or not. So please bear with me, I am doing the work, and I'm not letting go that easily. These doubts are only pushing me forwards, pushing towards knowing the truth on where I want to be.

I'll give you more info in the next letter,

Love,

          Amelia.

A/N : I know that it's not as happy and joyful as all the others, but it is necessary for the rest of the story, so sorry for the sort of sad part.