Sincerely, your Daughter

Chapter 22

Dear Mum and Dad,

28/05 : Something more ?

          So, I have been seeing James a bit more outside of school. We've met up a few times in a little restaurant, which has become our little meet up place. We go there nearly every evening, and have a drink. Sometimes he will even buy me dinner, and even though I try and fight him on whose paying, but he always insists. So I never get to pay. I know when he confessed that I wasn't sure on my feelings, but now I think I know what I want.

          He is so sweet and kind, and he is such a gentleman. I don't know if it's because he's trying to impress me, but I don't care. I actually enjoy the attention I'm getting. It's just, I've never been in a serious relationship before, so I don't know how to act around him, or what to say to him. I just don't want to mess this up. When I sit down and actually look at how I feel, I can see now that I actually care a lot about him. I probably wouldn't call this love yet, but I can see this growing into something more. 

          He's just so charming and, who am I kidding ? I'm absolutely head over heels for this guy, and I've never felt anything like it. I miss him when he's gone, when he holds my hand it's feels electric, and I just constantly have butterflies in my stomach when I'm near him. I can't explain it, I've never had these feelings for any other guys that I've been slightly attracted to.

          Is this what it's supposed to feel like ? A feeling of being lighter when he's near ? Is this what you felt mum with your first love ?

          I'm waiting for the next time he asks me to the restaurant, and I'll tell him then. I think that's the best way to do it. I just have to figure out how to say it : " Hey I like you back ?", " Wanna date me for real now?", " Interested in getting an actual girlfriend now?". No they all suck. I guess I'll just use the good old way of practicing in front of a mirror for the rest of the evening. I've also got to choose what to wear, because it's got to be special right ? Or will it look suspicious if I dress up nicely ? I have no idea of what I'm doing. So, paper parents, if you want to help your daughter out, now is the time to pop into reality to give me advice. You know everything, all the juicy details of what's been happening, if you have any advice now is the time because I really need it. No? Ok... I guess I will have to figure this out on my own.

          I guess I can give it a try, well I will see what happens then, because I know that no matter how much I practice, it will never be the same when I actually get to tell him. So see you later paper parents.

Love,

          Amelia.